Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertaiment books because they think it is wast of time. Do you agree or disagree?

It is
belived
Correct your spelling
believed
that few parents want their
kids
to read
books
which are specifically related to education most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
as they think
children
are wasting their precious
time
going through story or entertainment
books
.I completely disagree with
this
statement for many reasons,which will be explained in detail.
Firsly
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Firstly
, There are
serveral
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several
books
in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
with educational
books
where young
kids
can acquire knowledge in a
fun loving
Add a hyphen
fun-loving
show examples
manner.
Moreover
,
kids
love to solve puzzles and riddles and
this
helps in the development of
IQ
Correct article usage
the IQ
show examples
of the kid and he is capable of thinking
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
different
prespectives
Correct your spelling
perspectives
. A good example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
is, There is a
reserch
Correct your spelling
research
happend
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happened
happen
on
hundread
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hundred
kids
who only read school
books
and
children
reading both
entertaiment
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entertainment
and
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
books
are given some puzzles to solve. It is observed that
kids
who read both
books
solved more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
puzzles when compared with
other type
Change the wording
another type
other types
show examples
of
children
.
This
proves that
kids
should be given
enogh
Correct your spelling
enough
time
to spend
time
reading both
books
.
Secondly
,
Due to
the
traditinal
Correct your spelling
traditional
way of explaining concepts in a boring way
kids
feel
Replace the word
bored
show examples
bore
Wrong verb form
bored
show examples
and show
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
intrest
Correct your spelling
interest
Change preposition
in
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
school
books
during their study
time
. Parents should come up with some
story
Correct your spelling
storybooks
show examples
books
which
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
entertainment for
kids
and
Correct word choice
so
show examples
they feel relaxed
while
going through the stories.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
this
helps
children
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
new things and
also
provides general
inforamtion
Correct your spelling
information
and keeps
motivated
Correct pronoun usage
them motivated
show examples
with
moral
Correct article usage
the moral
show examples
of the stories.
Thus
children
makes a habit of spending
time
reading story and educational
books
. In conclusion, parents should encourage their
kids
to spend some
time
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
books
apart from only educational
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
as they help their
children
to
devlop
Correct your spelling
develop
IQ and
also
keep them relaxed and motivated whenever they feel
bore
Wrong verb form
bored
show examples
by reading only
books
releated
Correct your spelling
related
to
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
pupose
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purpose
.
Submitted by 099cb3657a639c on

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introduction
Your introduction should clearly restate the essay question and present your opinion in a clear and unambiguous manner. Try refining your thesis statement to leave no doubt about your stance on the issue.
examples
Including an example in your essay is a good way to support your points. However, ensure that your examples are directly related to the topic and clearly illustrate the point you are trying to make. The research example you provided could be more convincing if detailed statistical results or a reference to a credible study were included.
coherence cohesion
Mind the paragraph structure to maintain a logical flow in the essay. Each paragraph should contain a single idea presented clearly and supported adequately. Transition phrases such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' etc., can be helpful, but avoid redundancy. Ensure that you're not repeating the same ideas and are instead building upon them throughout.
grammar
Check your text for typographical errors, grammatical mistakes, and sentence structure. This will improve clarity and professionalism. Remember to use varied sentence structures and check for consistent verb tenses throughout.
conclusion
You may want to expand your concluding paragraph to offer a more substantial summary of your argument. Ideally, restate your main points and reinforce your stance in a manner that gives a sense of closure to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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