IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Access to clean water is a basic human right. Therefore every home should have a water supply that is provided free of charge. Do you agree or disagree?

With the development of technology, each person needs to access clean
water
Use synonyms
. Some believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should have a purification device to convert dirty
water
Use synonyms
 into clean
water
Use synonyms
 without any charges. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view for some reasons. On the one hand, having drinking
water
Use synonyms
 is a basic need for humans throughout the world.
This
Linking Words
 is because individuals should consume healthy ingredients
such
Linking Words
 as food and
water
Use synonyms
 to lead a good life.
Also
Linking Words
, the
governments
Use synonyms
 need skilled workforces to make a modern society.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Africa,
people
Use synonyms
 suffer from insufficient clean
water
Use synonyms
, so they have to use
water
Use synonyms
 which is full of hazardous bacteria and causes many diseases ,
such
Linking Words
 as digestive diseases.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 society is unable to improve in many cases , the economy, health and education. In conclusion, the
governments
Use synonyms
 should provide a
water
Use synonyms
 supply for each family around the globe in order to make a better place for humans.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
 supply is expensive and providing it for all humans requires a lot of expenditure.
This
Linking Words
 is because collecting the raw materials is very expensive, and the
governments
Use synonyms
 cannot afford it alone.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should collaborate with the
governments
Use synonyms
 so as to access clean
water
Use synonyms
 for their nations.
For instance
Linking Words
, pay taxes on time to provide enough money to make a high-quality
water
Use synonyms
 supply.
Also
Linking Words
, the
governments
Use synonyms
 can make a law when the
water
Use synonyms
 supply is broken,
Use synonyms
people
Correct word choice
and people
show examples
 have to pay extra money to have another.
This
Linking Words
 can make
people
Use synonyms
 aware that they should use
this
Linking Words
 device carefully. In conclusion, it is true that clean
water
Use synonyms
 is a human right, and they have to have the purification instruments in their house, but providing
this
Linking Words
 device is expensive, and individuals should pull together to access clean
water
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas are clearly connected and flow smoothly from one to another. Try to use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to help guide the reader through your points.
coherence and cohesion
In your introduction and conclusion, restate your main ideas to make your argument clearer. This can help reinforce your position.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your ideas. More examples can make your points stronger and clearer for the reader.
task achievement
Try to explain your points more fully in the body paragraphs. This will help demonstrate that you understand the topic well.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic, which is good for task response.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic
  • human
  • right
  • water
  • supply
  • provided
  • free
  • charge
  • agree
  • disagree
  • health
  • essential
  • sick
  • diseases
  • supports
  • education
  • children
  • focus
  • learning
  • searching
  • better
  • futures
  • reduce
  • poverty
  • families
  • save
  • money
  • spend
  • important
  • needs
  • promote
  • equality
  • chance
  • access
What to do next:
Look at other essays: