IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam’’ How true do you think this statement is? What are measures can the government take to discourage people from using their cars?

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #traffic #jam’’ #measures #government #people #cars
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In the epoch of globalization, a wide range of individuals own vehicles. It has been involved in many sectors and plays a prime role in our lives.
Nevertheless
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, the proportion of
car
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 owners has increased dramatically in the
last
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 thirty years.
This
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 is reflected in the countries and the world as
one
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 big traffic jam. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate on the truth of
this
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 statement. I will
also
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 demonstrate the measures that can be taken by the government.
To begin
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 with,
cars
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 can be considered as the invention of the era. It assisted
people
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 to reach their work and to transport goods.
In addition
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, there is a new phenomenon among individuals recently. They are purchasing more than
one
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car
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.
For instance
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, a new study from Cairo University shows that each family in Egypt have more than two
cars
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.
This
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 has a major side effect on the Egyptian streets,
as a result
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, Egypt is
one
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 of the most hectic, vibrant and polluted nations in the world.
Moreover
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, some owners buy
cars
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 as a habit. They obtain unique and luxurious
cars
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. They believe its value will increase over time.
For example
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,
last
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 year the oldest Toyota
car
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 was sold for ten million dollars.
Furthermore
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, the government can play a vital role in
this
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 issue.
Firstly
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, it can raise the taxes on the
people
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 who have more than
one
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car
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. They
also
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 can raise the taxation on
cars
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. Probing
further
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, it can make each citizen have his amount of gas or fuel per month. It can reduce the utilisation of
cars
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. Moving
further
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, made offers on public transportation and encouraged
people
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 to buy bikes or use public vehicles.
One
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 of the sparked trends in Luxemburg. The country provides free transportation in busses, metros and railways.
This
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 country is
one
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 of the spotless and less polluted countries around the world. In conclusion,
people
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's awareness should be increased. They should be aware of the obstacles of the excessive use and buying of
cars
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. The government should tackle
this
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 matter before it boomed.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

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task achievement
While the essay provides a comprehensive response to the question, there are minor grammatical and vocabulary mistakes that slightly hinder clarity. Pay close attention to sentence structure and verb tense consistency.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, ensuring smooth transitions between sentences and ideas will enhance readability.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task, discussing both the rapid increase in car ownership and potential governmental measures to discourage car use.
task achievement
The essay uses relevant examples to support its points, such as the statistics from Cairo University and the example of Luxembourg's free public transportation.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with distinct sections for introduction, main points, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the importance of government action and public awareness.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • air pollution
  • commute times
  • urban areas
  • infrastructure
  • public transport systems
  • congestion charges
  • alternative modes of transport
  • cycling
  • walking
  • fuel taxes
  • carpooling
  • electric vehicles
  • traffic jams
  • mitigate
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