some children spent hours everyday on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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nowadays

children

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are more

attractive

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attracted

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the

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apply

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smartphone

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smartphones

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. The

children

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don't know what is

the

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apply

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right or wrong.

this

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reason spend

everyday

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apply

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a lot of

time

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spend. I think it is negative for development. The

children

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using

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smartphone

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smartphones

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effect

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affect

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their

body

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bodies

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To begin

Linking Words

with, the

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children

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children's

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mind is fresh.

This

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time

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children

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using

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use of

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phone

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phones

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that

time

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effect

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affects

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Their

mind

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minds

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children

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their

life

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which is wrong and which is right they are not found. most of the

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Children

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Children's

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Life

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Lives

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attract is

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are occupied by

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playing and without

study

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. that mobile

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apply

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most

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effect

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affects

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the

study

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also

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and also

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there

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their

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body.

however

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the

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apply

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smartphone

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smartphones

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are available

game

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for game

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feature

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features

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and

others browser

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other browsers

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. the

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children

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children's

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life

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without

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their parents

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parents

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parents'

parent's

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guide

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in the future are very

disappointed

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disappointing

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on the other hand

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, some of

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time

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the time

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using mobile phone help

the

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apply

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children

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. like,

study

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topic

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topics

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but with

friends

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guide

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guidance

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otherwise

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otherwise,

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children

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goes

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to other Browser.

nowadays

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Nowadays

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social platform

are

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available

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study

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to study

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topi

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topic

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. The

children

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are

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apply

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easily gained they are

knowledg

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knowledge

. the

children

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with parents guide mobile using their

study

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life

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hel.

however

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, I argue without

parents

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parents'

parent's

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guideline

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guidelines

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children

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study

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effect

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mostly.

the

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apply

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children

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using

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smartphone

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smartphones

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reason not attractive

their

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to their

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study

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studies

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. In conclusion,

although

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smartphone using

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smartphone-using

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children

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help they are

study

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but

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apply

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I think

smartphone

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reason they are without guidelines

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effect

Correct your spelling

affects

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they are body and

study

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Submitted by suhanimtiaz on Thu Dec 14 2023

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Introduction & Conclusion

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Be sure to begin with an introductory paragraph that outlines the topic and your standpoint, and end with a clear conclusion summarizing your main points and opinion.

Grammar & Vocabulary

There are significant issues with grammar, vocabulary, and sentence structure that hinder the communication of ideas. Consider revising your essay with a focus on grammatical accuracy and clarity of expression.

Paragraph Structure

The organization of the essay is unclear and ideas are not logically sequenced. Work on creating well-structured paragraphs, each containing one main idea supported by examples or explanations.

Supporting Ideas

Develop your points more fully. Rather than simply stating an idea, explain how and why it's important, and support each point with clear and relevant examples. This will strengthen your argument and improve task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
53
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

213 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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some children spent hours everyday on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Government spending on restroration of old buildings in cities should be stopped. Instead they should spend money in housing and road development . Do you agree or disagree with this.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some individuals advocate for improving public transportation systems as a means to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Conversely, others argue that private cars offer more convenience and freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many students now work whilst they are studying in college or university. This often results in them having less time to concentrate on their as well as feeling under pressure. what are some of the causes of this? what solutions could you suggest?