Work is more important than leisure. Do you agree or disagree?

#work #leisure

In a competitive society, the majority of the community prefers to perform long hours, which can leave very little time to spend with friends, and family or to pursue hobbies. Some crowds choose that making money and achieving bright future goals is more sufficient than having a rest moment.

However

, I totally agree that task and leisure should be equal conditions. Struggle is important in our lives for some reasons:

firstly

, and most clearly, we need to work to earn income, and

secondly

, to walk for valuable purposes. Earning an income is the main reason most folks go to exertion, as well all need money for daily expenses, living and eating. If a human has a family

such

as children. The individual duty is to take care of his family, especially, financially.

Additionally

, expecting reason to get out of bed every day, we can feel minuscule aimless and lost, which in turn into a "zombie".

Nonetheless

, leisure is

also

sufficient in our society. It is essential to have a date to rest and recuperate from the stresses of trial.

This

helps keep us mentally and physically healthy.Everyone has stress, of course, it is a natural situation,

nevertheless

, in

this

case, you should go on a trip and go to places of entertainment

such

as the mountains.

For example

, I had a situation which is stressful status. That's why, I told my parents "Let's go to the gorgeous places in the world". So it was an amazing space which was memorable. After that, we relaxed and played some games. And so, without

this

should not be a well-balanced community.

Overall

, there is no doubt,

endeavour

Correct word choice

that endeavour

show examples

and rest should be done on occasion and balanced.

Submitted by muhayyomahmudova18 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and logical structure. Paragraphs appear haphazard and the overall flow is difficult to follow. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the ideas connect smoothly throughout the essay. Usage of linking words and topic sentences can greatly enhance coherence.

Task Achievement

There is a need for clearer and more comprehensive development of ideas. The argumentation would benefit from more depth and complexity, which could be achieved by expanding on the points made and exploring their implications more fully.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Work is more important than leisure. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Students in some countries leave school without good understanding of how to manage their money. What do you think are the reasons? What are the solutions to this problem?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

ou are looking for a part-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: - introduce yourself - explain what sort of job you would like - say what experience and skills you have

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that studying the past history can help us better understand the present. Please discuss the two views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

ou are looking for a part-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: - introduce yourself  - explain what sort of job you would like  - say what experience and skills you have