Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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How
children
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spend their free
time
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will have an incredible impact on
children
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's development in the future.
While
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some people believe that
children
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should be given sufficient free
time
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for their own management, others put more priority on the importance of the role of
parents
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. I generally agree with the former view as it leads to the growing power of self-management. On the one hand,
children
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should be responsible for their
acts
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in their free
time
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as they are able to gain diverse skills and knowledge, which are essential in everyday life.
In other words
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, they are more encouraged to make individual plans, cooperate, and solve various issues by themselves through different activities and plays.
For instance
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,
children
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are encouraged to organize their play to their altering needs and mediate
friends
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with friends
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if some conflicts should occur.
Likewise
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, they will naturally learn to establish intimate relationships as they respect mutual opinions in their disagreements. They should be patient enough to control themselves in order to achieve the common goals on their own if they are given much free
time
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. Not being able to rely on their
parents
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makes them more independent and
matured
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mature
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as they overcome a number of difficulties through many trials and errors.
On the other hand
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, regardless of the primary roles of
children
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in managing their free
time
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for their development, supervision from
parents
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is important to some extent to prevent their selfish
acts
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.
For example
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, many
children
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at an early age are not able to keep promises to their
parents
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and often end up playing video games for an excessive amount of
time
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.
Furthermore
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, their inability to self discipline brings negative consequences including deteriorating eyesight and shorter attention spans.
This
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leads to poor academic performance since many
children
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are immature enough to put regulations on their own
acts
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.
Therefore
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,
parents
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' intervention to manage
children
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's schedules is essential for their better growth from both perspectives of education and health. In conclusion, various social skills will be promoted when
children
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are given the authority to manage their free
time
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. They are encouraged to be more responsible and independent through interaction with friends and diverse experiences.
However
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,
parents
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should pay careful attention to their
acts
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to ensure their safety and well-being.
Submitted by mizuho on

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introduction conclusion present
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supported main points
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logical structure
The essay presents a logical structure overall, but strive to make the argument and progression of ideas even more seamless. This will help in maintaining the reader's engagement.
complete response
Your essay successfully responds to the task by discussing both views and offering a personal opinion. Keep refining your argument to ensure all parts of the task are addressed equally.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas in the essay are clear and relatively well developed. However, seek to deepen the analysis of each view for a more comprehensive discussion.
relevant specific examples
Examples provided are relevant and support the points made. To improve, the inclusion of a wider range of specific examples could strengthen the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
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