Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

In
this
day and age, many individuals argue that
schools
have the pivotal aim of becoming acceptable employees and residents in lieu of their individual
benefits
. The author of
this
essay totally agrees with
this
statement in the
way
that
schools
formed comprehensiveness of their humanity and personality. One of the primary aims of the
schools
in each student's life is the development of their social responsibility. It is overwhelmingly crucial to acknowledge that the
schools
are the key to directly building the
students
' awareness about the contribution to their community and they
also
instil values
such
as honesty, respect and restraint which are essential for a good citizen. Through professional teachers and valuable lessons in the
schools
, children not only gain more and more appropriate information for their surrounding lives, but they
also
can have more chances to improve social accountability. It is clearly evident that a lot of young people who start at school prepare carefully for their general and fundamental knowledge, skills and personality. They
also
believe that
this
is the best and fastest
way
for them to become good and generous residents and workers in the workforce of their countryside. Another drawback aspect of the school when it does not prioritize the
benefits
as individuals. There is no doubt that the lack of solidarity and the improvement of their piggish in any
way
. If
schools
only pay attention to the individuals' benefit, children will become worse than as possible as they can.
Moreover
, the
students
do not have any connection with each other in their community and they are
also
inclined towards living alone status
instead
of in harmony socially. Unfortunately, children without their parents and teachers' supervisors become more and more selfish under any circumstances. Take some private
schools
in many big cities as a particular example of
this
notion, the education systems of them do not have inclusivity about the growth of their
students
and they
also
prioritize their
benefits
. By the
way
,
students
in these
schools
turn into detached and ignored citizens day by day.
Thus
, the
benefits
of each person are not essential at all. As aforementioned, the writer of
this
essay strongly believes that it has been fully agreement that the development in their social contribution and connections between each child and their society is the main purpose of the school to train
students
to become good and valuable residents and employees.
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coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Aim to make your points more distinct and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will help to make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Refine your language to express ideas more clearly and avoid overly complex sentences that may confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each sentence transitions smoothly to the next without abrupt changes in ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states your position regarding the topic, which helps set the stage for your arguments.
complete response
The essay presents a complete response to the question, covering both sides of the argument to a certain extent.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes some relevant points about the role of schools in shaping students into responsible citizens and workers.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social responsibility
  • foundational knowledge
  • career success
  • economic contribution
  • personal development
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • emotional intelligence
  • balanced education
  • community well-being
  • holistic education
  • academic and personal growth
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