Average number of years spent at school (1970-2009)

The information provided in
given
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the given
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line graph is about how many
years
students went to school
in
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on
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average all over the world, but regionally. The data covers the period from 1970 to 2009. If the data is overlooked, the average
years
students spent at school increased steadily decade by decade. In North America and Western Europe, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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of
years
rose gradually from 13 in 1970 to 16 in 2009,
not
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with not
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much fluctuation at all.
Similarly
, Central and Eastern Europe had a steady increase in schooling
years
.
Next,
Arab States had a sharp jump from 5
years
in 1970 to 7
years
in 1980.
Later
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In later
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decades, the numbers still
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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, but steadily. The region had the most significant jump up to 11
years
in 2009. Contrasting with
above
Correct article usage
the above
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regions,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Latin America and the Caribbean had
a
Correct article usage
apply
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fluctuate
Change the form of the verb
fluctuating
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changes.
However
, it had a remarkable increase in
number
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a number
the number
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of schooling
years
along
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during
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the period.
To sum up
, the world
had
Wrong verb form
has
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the
Correct article usage
a
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record
of
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for
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increasing
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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of
years
that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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students
well
Rephrase
apply
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spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
in
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
.
Submitted by shha.zuzu on

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coherence cohesion
To improve in coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas or sections, and use cohesive devices (such as linking words) to help your argument flow more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
For the introduction and conclusion, it is important to clearly state the purpose of the essay in the introduction and summarize the main points in the conclusion to ensure a well-rounded response.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that each main point in your essay is well-developed and supported with specific, relevant examples or data from the graph. Avoid making general statements without backing them up with evidence.
task achievement
Your response should completely address all parts of the task. Check that your essay includes all aspects of the prompt and that it remains on topic throughout.
task achievement
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task achievement
Use specific examples or data from the graph provided to demonstrate the trends and support your analysis. Make sure these examples are directly related to the points you are making, and integrate them smoothly into your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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