Model Answer: More companies produce goods in the factories located in different countries other than the location of the head office. Advantages and disadvantages?
Due to
developmental equity as a part of worldwide
program, many Correct article usage
a worldwide
companies
builds
their manufactures in third Change the verb form
build
nations
, while
their headquarters are in the
developed Correct article usage
apply
countries
. However
, this
program has some advantages and disadvantages, not only developing
Change preposition
in developing
countries
but also
developed
Change preposition
in developed
nations
. I wil
explain the pros and cons in the next following paragraphs.
Correct your spelling
will
To begin
with, there are a lot of big companies
builds
their factories in different Wrong verb form
building
countries
. Mostly, they want to reduce the salary of labours
. Many developing Correct your spelling
labourers
countries
have a bad policy for their citizens who work as a labourer than people who live in developed countries
. Because of this
, big companies
prefer located
their factories in third Change the verb form
to locate
nations
. Indeed, this
idea brings various adverse effects for labourers. As I mention
before, they will earn less income than they should. Change the form of the verb
mentioned
In addition
, some factories have a lower standard of buildings. For example
, in 2015, there was an accident in India where the building was collapse
and many of them Wrong verb form
collapsed
was
dead because of Change the verb form
were
this
traged
. In spite of taking responsibility, the company seemed Correct your spelling
tragedy
close
their eyes. Fix the infinitive
to close
Nevertheless
, the employees will obtain the disadvantages, while
the employers will acquire profits.
In a
contrast, Correct article usage
apply
this
idea also
brings
a positive impact Verb problem
has
for
individuals who settle in developing Change preposition
on
countries
. Firstly
, it will increase their countries
' GDP annualy
. Correct your spelling
annually
Secondly
, it will open many job opportunities. As I know, most of their workers is
women who have a child. Of course, these women have an opportunity to employ and support their Change the verb form
are
family
.
In Fix the agreement mistake
families
conlusion
, there are many advantages and disadvantages related to building a factory in other Correct your spelling
conclusion
countries
, especially third nations
. Most of advantages
Add an article
the advantages
gains
by Wrong verb form
gained
companies
than workers. However
, the important thing is companies
have to consider the worker's well-being than profits.Submitted by heidynilasari02 on
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task achievement
Be sure to address the task directly and consistently, focusing on answering the question with clear main points and fully developed arguments.
coherence cohesion
It's crucial to organize ideas logically, ensuring that paragraphs are well-structured with clear topic sentences and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Predominantly use a range of cohesive devices appropriately. However, ensure that they do not distract from the clarity of the argument.
task achievement
Provide a balanced analysis of the advantages and disadvantages by offering clear examples that truly illustrate the points and contribute to the reader's understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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