Some people say that television is useful for educated, while other say it is useful only for entertainment?,discuss both views and give your opinion?

Television
is one of the Few Inventions that has massively changed the world. Many
people
say that
television
is helpful for education,
while
others believe It is used only for
entertainment
. I think the device can be
weed
Verb problem
used
show examples
as a source of knowledge in the upcoming Paragraphs, I will discuss my thoughts about
this
topic.
To begin
with, the majority of
people
watch
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
in their homes on a daily basis as
entertainment
, and
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
one on
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
will be in each home. There will be different types of
programmes
ontelevision
Correct your spelling
on television
around the clock. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
programmes
are usually
telecast
Verb problem
broadcast
show examples
on
television
only
entertainment
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
. There are different
entertainment
programmes
Replace the word
programs
show examples
like movies, web
Series
Fix capitalization
series
show examples
, music, family dramas, and so o on. on. Mary
people
are eagerly
walting
Correct your spelling
waiting
even though, they
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
watch
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of
programmes
are
Correct pronoun usage
which are
show examples
not
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for
For example
, in my myck childhood days, I used
gaining
Change the verb form
to gain
show examples
knowled
Correct your spelling
knowledge
to spend most of
the
Change the word
my
show examples
time watching
TV
.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
, there were many shows that provided good knowledge.
Correct your spelling
I was
Iwas
Correct your spelling
I was
not at all interested in those
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
televised on
Tv
types of
programmes
that have
Furthermore
, Adults
as well as
kids have been
negetively
Correct your spelling
negatively
impacted by
television
. Most of the
grand parents
Correct your spelling
grandparents
show examples
are the
TV
, and they a Spending their free time in Front of
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
are affected by health.
Additionally
, there are different types of
chamnes
Correct your spelling
channels
changes
In various languages, and by watching
this
, we
con
Correct your spelling
can
show examples
also
Improve our Language. By By watching
wate
Correct your spelling
watch
one news
channels
Fix the agreement mistake
channel
show examples
, we can update ourselves and
also
improve Our general knowledge.
To sum up
, I Strongly
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that the majority of.
people
are
rating on
Wrong verb form
rated
show examples
for stress relief and
enter ainment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there are
programmes
that are useful for education,
peopl
Correct your spelling
people
are not interested. the
entertainment
.
People
are really addicted .
Submitted by mgayathri401 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow your argument. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to another. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas both within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
It appears you provided an introduction and conclusion, but the overall structure is lacking clarity and the follow-through is not apparent. Make sure your essay opens with a clear statement of purpose and ends with a summarizing conclusion that reflects on the content of your essay and reaffirms your position.
coherence cohesion
The main points outlined in your essay are somewhat supported, but often the support is vague or the examples are not entirely relevant. Work on developing your points more fully, using concrete examples and details that directly relate to the argument you are making.
task achievement
The essay's response to the task is incomplete as it does not satisfactorily discuss both views of the topic. The question asks to discuss both the educational and entertainment values of television, but the essay focused mainly on the entertainment aspect, with limited coverage of the educational perspective. Make sure you address all parts of the task equally.
task achievement
Your ideas need to be more clear and comprehensive. Ambiguity in the wording and a lack of detail make it challenging for the reader to understand your points fully. Work on expressing your ideas more precisely and fleshing them out with adequate detail and reasoning.
task achievement
The use of specific examples is sparse and when present, not always relevant or effectively explained. Examples are crucial as they illustrate and support your points. Aim to include specific, relevant examples that reinforce the argument at hand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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