Achieving a healthy work-life balance is becoming increasingly difficult in today’s fast-paced society. Discuss the reasons behind this trend and suggest possible strategies individuals can adopt to maintain a better balance between work and personal life. Use explainations and examples to support your opinion.

Attaining happy stability between career and social life is much harder these days than ever prior

Change preposition

apply

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in today’s hectic society. Explain the causes and give advice to reach more balanced employment and personal

time

Use synonyms

. Losing equilibrium between employment and personal life leads to the effects on psychology. Given the fact that there are more and more people on Earth than ever before, around eight billion or so. Spending for household bills and receipts

in addition

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to paying fees for education and hanging out makes heavy burdens for individuals. In order to pay for those fees, people have to spend

time

Use synonyms

working in the office around 60 hours a week compared to 48 hours standard. They have many deadlines and must rat race to finish them.

For example

Linking Words

, my sister works as an accountant, and she usually comes back home late

due to

Linking Words

an overload of tasks, even taking work from home.

This

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results in spending less

time

Use synonyms

with friends, family, and community. Some solutions are given out to shortcut the working

time

Use synonyms

including learning and using more effective tools to finish duties quickly and develop life management skills to limit expenditure and mitigate spending burden.

Secondly

Linking Words

, many employees have to solve their work with many technical tools including computers, laptops, and smartphones. They will get stuck on it throughout the day by checking so many duties on them and

enable

Wrong verb form

enabling

show examples

their work and colleagues all day.

Moreover

Linking Words

, home office

Remove the comma

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and work-related notifications have become commonplace in recent years that interrupt dinner, TV and rest. One

certain

Correct word choice

apply

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way to remedy

this

Linking Words

issue is to turn off notifications after leaving the workplace.

This

Linking Words

is a good way to mitigate stress and depression. In conclusion, working hours are increasing and simultaneously personal

time

Use synonyms

will decrease.

Therefore

Linking Words

, individuals should have an awareness and a clear strategy to cut off

this

Linking Words

issue.

pnkhanhloveThu Dec 14 2023

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introduction conclusion present

The essay lacks a clear and cohesive introduction and conclusion. Make sure to include a distinct introduction that presents the topic and your thesis, as well as a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your thesis.

clear comprehensive ideas

The arguments presented are somewhat relevant but lack depth and clarity. There is a need to develop ideas further and present them in a logical order. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.

relevant specific examples

While examples are used, they should be expanded upon to strengthen the arguments. Include more detailed and specific examples to back up your points.

logical structure

Work on creating a more logical structure that guides the reader smoothly from one point to the next. Utilize transitional phrases to enhance the flow of your essay and link ideas more effectively.

complete response

Ensure that the task is completely addressed with all parts of the prompt discussed thoroughly. Each point should be fully explained and linked back to the question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Your opinion

Some people say that schools should invest money in the best equipment for their students. Others says that it is better to invest money in hiring good teachers. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Working abroad can help employees earn a great deal of money and gain more benefits. However, some people think this trend has many negative impacts. what are the advantage and disadvantage of working abroad.

In many parts of world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. what are the causes? how should these young criminals to be punished?

Some people think that teenage years are the happiest years wheareas other think that the adult life is brings more happiness, inspite of great responsibilities. Give your views and opinions.

In some countries people of all age groups are engaging in too many sports or over-exercising. Are there more advantages or drawbacks to this development?