Numerous animal species worldwide are currently facing extinction. Some argue that countries and individuals should prioritize protecting these animals, while others believe resources should be focused more on human issues. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It has been widely discussed
about
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apply
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whether societies should pay more attention
on
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to
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protecting rare
animals
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.
While
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some people think the money ought to be used on the aspects involved with humanity, I hold the opinion that we should
using
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use
be using
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resources to protect nearly
extincted
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extinct
species
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first. Some individuals support the perspective that human issues should be prior to
animals
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,
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since these wildlife
animals
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affect little to our daily life. To be more specific, we only live in a small part of the urban area, and some of us will not see wild
animals
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in
the
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our
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entire life.
Thus
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, it seems useless to spend resources to help endangered
animals
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which are
irrelative
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irrelevant
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to
human's
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human
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life.
However
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, if the earth witnesses a great loss of animal
species
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, it will
be
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harm
to
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the diversity of
species
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. Eventually,
this
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result will impair the balance of the wildlife, and
further
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contribute to a natural disaster.
On the other hand
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, it is not the earth that
designed
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is designed
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only for human beings.
Instead
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, it is a place
that
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where
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all
species
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should gain the equal privilege to live happily. As people have taken up the majority of living space in the world, governments and individuals must spare more efforts to
making
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make up for the problems that we may lead to. Taking the Chinese government
for example
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, in the past decades, residents cut down
the
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trees and built a number of new buildings in the rural area of Sichuan province, where it is the home of pandas.
Consequently
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, pandas were facing the danger of extinction
due to
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the disappearance of their food, bamboo and their habitats. Rather than ignoring
this
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phenomenon,
Chinese
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the Chinese
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government made a lot of efforts (tried their best) to resolve
this
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situation, including building nature reserves and breeding panda babies in the zoo to expand the population. Nowadays,
panda
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the panda
a panda
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is not a rare
species
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anymore, and they earn
the
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apply
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favor
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favour
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worldwide. In conclusion, I believe that we should emphasize the importance of protecting
species
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and distribute more resources to them.
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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure the introduction provides a clear background on the topic and clearly states your thesis. The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points and restate your opinion.
Logical Structure
Work on creating more fluid transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will strengthen the connectivity of your argument throughout the essay.
Supporting Examples
Support your main points with more detailed and varied examples. This will help clarify your arguments and add depth to your discussion.
Task Response
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that you discuss both views and your own opinion with a balanced approach.
Idea Clarity & Expansion
Aim to deliver your ideas more clearly, with each paragraph containing one main idea that is expanded upon cohesively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • conservation
  • intrinsic value
  • sustainable practices
  • limited resources
  • poverty
  • disease
  • education
  • innovation
  • balanced approach
  • well-being
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