Despite advances in agriculture, many people in the world are still hungry. Why is this so? What are the likely solutions ?

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For many years, there has been a problem that a lot of people are still hungry even though agriculture has developed. These kinds of

problems

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are found more in many developing

countries

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than

developed

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in developed

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countries

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. From my point of view, I will discuss the

problems

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and solutions of

this

Linking Words

case. First of all, the world population is growing rapidly, exceeding the rate of

food

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production in some regions. Mostly in developing

countries

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, increasing

population

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populations

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in some rural areas and conflict zones are leading to

food

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shortage and hunger.

In addition

Linking Words

, transportation is not good enough to make a trade so the economy is not developed in some areas

therefore

Linking Words

, there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not enough

food

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supplies for the people.

Besides

Linking Words

, extreme weather events like floods and droughts are becoming more frequent

due to

Linking Words

climate change that

disrupt

Change the verb form

disrupts

show examples

agricultural production, leading to crop failures and

food

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insufficiency.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are several solutions to address the above

problems

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Firstly

Linking Words

, the government has full responsibility to support potential small-scale farmers by giving some financial support, training and technology and

then

Linking Words

they should invest in agricultural development programs. It can increase local

food

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production and improve rural livelihoods.

Furthermore

Linking Words

,it would be a good idea if the government

makes

Wrong verb form

made

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sure to improve transportation to build a sustainable economy in rural areas. These kinds of solutions will reduce the

food

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shortage and protect the people from hunger. All things considered,

although

Linking Words

there will still be

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

problems

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food

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shortage

Fix the agreement mistake

shortages

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in some developing

countries

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and some conflict zones, there are many ways to solve these

problems

Use synonyms

Submitted by wynenu94 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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task achievement

The essay addresses the main points requested by the essay question, but lacks detailed development of ideas. Ensure each body paragraph focuses on a single idea and is fully developed with specific examples and explanations.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is present but can be improved upon. Use a wider range of linking devices and paragraph structures to increase the clarity and flow of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more clearly distinct in terms of paraphrasing the question and offering a salient summary of your main points. Always restate your thesis in the conclusion with different wording.

coherence cohesion

While supporting points are given, they lack depth and specificity which compromises their strength. Aim to provide more specific examples and data to substantiate the points made.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Despite advances in agriculture, many people in the world are still hungry. Why is this so? What are the likely solutions ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Films and computer games containing violence are popular. Some people say they have negative impacts on society and should be banned, while others say they are just harmless relaxation. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the gap between the rich and the poor is widening. What problems does this situation cause, and what solutions can you suggest?

nowadays artificial intelligence is being used to drive cars. Why this happens? Is it a positive or negative development?

some people say that fashion affects our lives in a negative way. However, others say that it has more positive effects on our lives. discuss both views and give your opinion.