IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows annual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in some countries

The graph below shows annual water usage (in millions of cubic meters) by industries in some countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given graph depicts the yearly
water
Use synonyms
 usage of distinct industries in some nations.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 is the main
source
Use synonyms
 for most industries, except food/drinks and machinery. Chemicals
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the field that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 the highest
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 usage
while
Linking Words
 that of fuel and
texitles
Correct your spelling
textiles
 are the lowest.
In addition
Linking Words
, the difference between
ground
Use synonyms
 and public supply
water
Use synonyms
 is biggest in paper and machinery. The industry of chemicals
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 the highest number of
water
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 total of 650
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cubic meters, with
ground
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 the main
source
Use synonyms
 that
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
 up
two third
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
show examples
 of the field's
water
Use synonyms
 supply. Metal and food/drinks follow with 330
million
Use synonyms
 and 310
million
Use synonyms
, respectively.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 is the main
source
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 supply for making metals
while
Linking Words
 public supply
water
Use synonyms
 is used more for food/drinks.
Paper
Correct article usage
The paper
show examples
 industry
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 around 210
million
Use synonyms
 cubic meters with
water
Use synonyms
 from the
ground
Use synonyms
 is used almost 10 times more than
water
Use synonyms
 from
public
Add an article
the public
a public
show examples
 supply.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in the production of machines, public supply
water
Use synonyms
 is the main
source
Use synonyms
 with 100
million
Use synonyms
 cubic meters used
whereas
Linking Words
 the usage of
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 is only 10
million
Use synonyms
. The fields of fuel and textiles both use the least amount of
water
Use synonyms
 at 80
million
Use synonyms
 and 90
million
Use synonyms
, respectively, with
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 used 7-8 times higher than public
water
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, ground, source, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: