Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Some people believe that our early
childhood
experiences
are the most important. They say that our brains are like sponges, soaking up everything around us. Others argue that our teenage
years
are the real deal. We're older, wiser, and more capable of making our own decisions. We're
also
starting to figure out who we are and what we want to do with our lives. So, the
experiences
we have during
this
time can have a big impact on our future. Those early
childhood
experiences
point to the brain's rapid development during
this
time.Think of it like building a house. The early
years
are like laying the
foundation
. You need a strong
foundation
to support everything else. Positive
experiences
,
such
as a loving home, lots of playtime, and early exposure to language, are like adding strong beams and sturdy walls. They provide a solid
foundation
for future learning, emotional well-being, and social skills.
On the other hand
, those who believe in the power of teenage
experiences
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more important to us. It's like adding furniture and décor to a house, the teenager gets to personalize their space and make it their own.
Experiences
like friendships, extracurricular activities, and exposure to different perspectives are like adding unique pieces of furniture. It
shape
Change the verb form
shapes
show examples
the teenager's values, goals, and future choices. The truth is, it's probably a bit of both. Our early
childhood
experiences
give us a solid
foundation
,
while
our teenage
years
help us build on it. The ideal situation is to have a good balance of both. So, the impact of a person's
experiences
isn't limited to a single stage of life, it's like a continuous process of building. Early
childhood
lays the groundwork, and teenage
experiences
shape and
mold
Change the spelling
mould
show examples
it
further
. The key is to create an environment that nurtures growth at every stage, ensuring that kids get the support and stimulation they need in their early
years
while
also
having the freedom to explore and discover themselves during their teenage
years
.
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task achievement
Your essay presents clear main ideas with relevant supporting points; however, additional specific examples would strengthen the argument. Provide concrete instances or studies that closely illustrate your viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
The essay features a logical progression of ideas and maintains a clear position throughout. To achieve a higher score, further improve the logical sequence of information and use a wider range of cohesion devices effectively.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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