some people studying the past is the best way to help young people function well in the modern world. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures could be effective in helping young people to function well in the modern world?

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some people believe that studying history is the best way for the youth to
dealing
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deal
show examples
with our new modern
world
. in my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
studying the past is just like reading stories or tails that may
includes
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include
show examples
some good and beneficial ideas for
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation. I think there are a
numbure
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number
of knowledges and
skilles
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skills
that they are necessary for adolescents to learn.
For instance
, social
cominucation
Correct your spelling
communication
and computer science
is
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are
show examples
crucial for youth to know.
although
history is
tought
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taught
thought
to
young
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the young
show examples
generation in
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the edjucational
show examples
edjucational
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educational
system, it is just
story telling
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storytelling
show examples
about individuals and events in the past with
lack
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a lack
show examples
of analysis and useful information about their mistakes and
consiquences
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consequences
.
Nevertheless
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Nevertheless,
show examples
these
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this
show examples
kind of
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
are
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is
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necessary
to known
Verb problem
apply
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for adolescents, but not just the best method to
preparing
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prepare
show examples
for
live
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life
show examples
in the modern
world
for now and future.
On the other hand
, there are a bunch of bugs about historical contents,
such
as lack of unity
opinion
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in opinion
show examples
about some events, reality had been changed
trough
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through
show examples
the years, and the paramount one is that
the
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apply
show examples
history is written by
victorians
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Victorians
show examples
, not by honest historians. I think one of the best ways
for developing
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to develop
show examples
young people in terms of dealing with new modern
world
issues is learning how to use
computer
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computers
show examples
,
internet
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the internet
show examples
and smart devices. Nowadays these devices
could
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can
show examples
help in every single daily
tasks
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task
show examples
and they play
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
role in our lives.
On the other hand
these days our
world
is just like a big village and it is so important to know, how to
cominucate
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communicate
with other people as
i
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I
show examples
think
every body
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everybody
show examples
especialy
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especially
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation must learn these
kind
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kinds
show examples
o skills.
to sum up
, for
adolescents
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adolescents,
show examples
it is important to know what
was
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apply
show examples
happend
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happened
in the past, but they can not
have
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apply
show examples
act like them in facing issues
for dealing
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to deal
show examples
with in
this
new face modern
world
. they should
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
themselvs
Correct your spelling
themselves
every day.
Submitted by Samanvafaeimoghadam on

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coherence cohesion
It is essential that your essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout, ensuring that each paragraph centers on one main idea and that these ideas progress logically from one to the other. This essay lacked clear transitions and cohesive devices, making it difficult to follow the progression of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion should clearly state your position regarding the topic and succinctly summarize the main points of the essay. This essay had an unclear introduction and a weak conclusion which did not fully encapsulate the main points or your stance
coherence cohesion
Make certain that each main point of your argument is well supported by specific evidence or examples. This essay included some general points without the necessary examples or evidence to back them up, weakening the overall argument.
task achievement
Ensure that you address the essay prompt completely, answering all aspects of the question. The essay did not thoroughly address the extent to which you agree or disagree with the prompt, nor did it satisfactorily elaborate on other effective measures beyond the need for computer literacy.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clearly stated and extensively developed throughout the essay. There should be a sense of depth and comprehension in the way you explore the prompt. This essay presented its ideas superficially, without the necessary depth and development to convey a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Using relevant and specific examples can greatly enhance your argument, making it more convincing. This essay would benefit from a range of concrete examples to support the points made, especially when discussing the modern skills young people need.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • historical context
  • critical thinking
  • analytical skills
  • informed decisions
  • technological literacy
  • interpersonal skills
  • diverse communities
  • mental health resources
  • entrepreneurship
  • innovation
  • problem-solving
  • causation
  • fast-paced
  • function effectively
  • job market
What to do next:
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