Nowadays families are not as close as they used to be. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to make families closer?
Earlier
people
spent alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
time
with each other because their schedule was not very busy so they were close to each other. Change preposition
of time
However
now people
have hectic routine so they have not time
. The problem of families are not close to each ones
which was always debatable has now become more controversial. In Correct pronoun usage
other
this
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
Capitalize word
I
i
will shed some light Capitalize word
I
one
it's reasons and solution and the will lead to Correct your spelling
on
Correct article usage
a rational
rational
conclusion in Correct article usage
a rational
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
details
.
Analysing the statement, there are myriad Fix the agreement mistake
detail
reason
that Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
people
donot
close to each other as before, but the first and most preponderant Verb problem
are not
one
is that certainly, increasing the competition among the people
has force
them to do work Wrong verb form
forced
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
time
as they have no time
for spending with their loved ones
so they are not close . Another major factor is that advancement in technology has changed man's life if they want anything about anything then
they search from
Change preposition
on
Add an article
the internet
internet
without any Capitalize word
Internet
people
's advice moreover
if they want to relax their mind then
also
they play games and watch comedy show
Fix the agreement mistake
shows
therefore
they do not realise that they any person. Hence
, they are not close to each other.
However
there are plenty of steps which can help people
to overcome from this
problem, but the most significant one
is that masses should not totally be dependent on technology they should go to their loved ones
for sharing their happiest and sorrow moments which leads their life healthier. Furthermore
, the employers should give their employees extra bonus and some other facilities that the result they do not do overtime work and spend time
with their family members and neighbors which make their bonding strong and they will close to their loved ones
..
To recapitulate, from the above mentioned argument one
can reach to a conclusion is that the problem of people
who are not close to each other as past can be solved, if the solution of this
followed by every one
.Submitted by mehakpreetkaur3954 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, making it difficult for the reader to follow your argument. Try to organize your points more effectively, with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, they need to be clearer and more concise. Your introduction should clearly state your main ideas and how you plan to address them, and your conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and restate your position without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Main points are somewhat supported, but the support lacks depth and specificity. Aim to provide more detailed explanations and relevant examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The response addresses the task, but could be more fully developed. Ensure that you directly answer all parts of the question, providing a clear opinion and thorough response to each sub-question.
task achievement
Your ideas are presented, but they need to be articulated more clearly and comprehensively. Work on clarity of expression and ensuring that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument, with a clear link back to the question.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from the use of relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points. Avoid general statements; instead, draw on concrete examples that convincingly support your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.