IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Many people think that museums and gallaries should only show work from local artists rather than work from other countries do you agree?

#people #museums #gallaries #show #work #artists #countries
Some individuals believe that local
artists
Change noun form
artists'
artist's
show examples
 work should only be shown in
gallaries
 and
museums
 rather than other
regions
Change noun form
regions'
region's
show examples
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
however
this
 essay will disagree with
this
 statement because art is something that should be
revealead
Correct your spelling
revealed
 to all
arround
Correct your spelling
around
 the
world
. To commence with the view, everyone has a right to enjoy the craft of
craftman
Correct your spelling
craftmen
 all over the
world
. Art is not the property of one region it gives too much information to learn about someone's
prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
show examples
 and cultural diversity
for instance
 if
zakir
Change the capitalization
Zakir
show examples
 hussains paintings are not shown to the
world
then
 how can other country's
artists
 explore their talent
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Secondly
, if people from other counties visit to see
gallaries
Correct your spelling
galleries
 and
museums
 it will enhance the
buiseness
Correct your spelling
business
 of
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 area's people
although
 it will encourage
artists
 to do work more efficiently and broaden their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 it can be helpful in breaking down the barriers of mind
also
 people can know about other's cultures, traditions and customs. In conclusion, art is something which should not be hidden from anyone because it gives
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 to
artists
as well as
 to the authority of
museums
 and
gallaries
Correct your spelling
galleries
. So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly assert that
museums
 and
gallaries
Correct your spelling
galleries
 should showcase
everykind
Correct your spelling
every kind
 of work from anyone in the
world
.
Submitted by amitngpl3333 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure to develop a more structured and coherent argument throughout your essay. Use clear paragraphs to separate your points and present them in a logical sequence.
coherence cohesion
It is crucial to have an introduction that presents the topic clearly and a conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively. Ensure your essay opens and closes with paragraphs that address these needs.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples. Each argument should be clearly explained and reinforced with concrete evidence or illustrations that are directly relevant to the topic.
task achievement
While your response to the task is complete, you should work to express your ideas more comprehensively. Elaborate on your arguments and explore the implications of your perspectives in greater detail.
task achievement
Utilize a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to convey clear and comprehensive ideas. Avoid repetition and strive for precision in your language use to create a more engaging and effective essay.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. These should be clearly linked to the topic and enhance the reader's understanding of your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: