nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

problems suffered by many individuals are of great concern nowadays. With the increase in population,
number
Change the article
a number
the number

It appears that the phrase number does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

facing
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

health related
Add a hyphen
health-related

It seems that health related is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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issues
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is

It seems that the verb are does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

increasing day by day. To compensate
with
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the demand
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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doctors
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

rose to cope
up
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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with the patients. When it comes to consulting a doctor, some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

believe
to visit
Change preposition
in visiting

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their usual doctors,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

others disagree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

and try getting some alternative medicines. Many reasons can contribute to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

decision taken by
majority
Add an article
a majority
the majority

The noun phrase majority seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with
large
Correct article usage
the large

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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number of patients and
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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demand
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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doctors, it is hard to visit a doctor without
a
Change the article
an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word appointment.

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appointment so rather
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

then
Correct your spelling
than

The word then doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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waiting for the allotted time, they prefer to take medicines on their own. Another reason
being
Wrong verb form
is

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb being. Consider changing it.

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,
consultancy
Correct word choice
that consultancy

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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fees are charged from the patients each time they go for
follow up2
Add a hyphen
follow-up2

It seems that follow up2 is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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, so individuals find it a bit expensive. In
todays
Change noun form
today's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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time,
pharmacist
Add an article
the pharmacist

The noun phrase pharmacist seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

suggests drugs based
of
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the symptoms described by the individual, so it is more convenient for them. We live in an age where we rely on
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology

It seems that technologies may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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too much.
Instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of trusting
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals

It seems that professional may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, we prefer
treatment
Add an article
a treatment

The noun phrase treatment seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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which we searched
on
Change preposition
for on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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internet
Add an article
the internet

The noun phrase internet seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. Treatment
vary
Change the verb form
varies

The plural verb vary does not appear to agree with the singular subject Treatment. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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from one person to another, so rather than searching for the treatment of the described symptoms, one should consult a doctor. From my way of thinking, I really think that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

development has
negative
Add an article
a negative

The noun phrase negative effect seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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effect on
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Consulting a usual medical professional is a good choice as they are well versed with your past medical history and they can guide you
according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

that.
Submitted by shivanibhatt412 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that you have a clear introduction that presents the topic and your viewpoint, followed by a conclusion that summarizes your arguments and restates your opinion. Your essay seemed to lack a clear introductory statement and a definitive concluding paragraph which are essential in IELTS writing.
logical structure
Improve the logical structure of your essay by planning the layout before you begin writing. Use paragraphs to separate different ideas and make sure each one logically follows on from the preceding one. Aim for a natural flow between sentences and paragraphs.
supported main points
Develop main points with specific examples and explanations. While you have touched upon reasons for turning to alternative medicine, adding real-life examples or statistics would strengthen your argument and provide the evidence required to score higher in this area.
complete response
Ensure your essay fully responds to all parts of the task. You need to discuss both sides of the argument to provide a balanced view and then clearly present your own perspective. Your essay somewhat addresses the prompt, but a more thorough exploration is needed.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and in more depth. Some sentences are confusing, which would benefit from a rephrasing. Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate comprehensive explanations of your points.
relevant specific examples
Illustrate your points with relevant, specific examples. Generic statements like 'pharmacists also suggest drugs' could be improved with a particular instance that shows this practice and its impact on individuals' health.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
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