Some young people are leaving the countrside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?
in three different areas of Newport City Centre from 2003 to 2012.
Body paragraph 1
Burglary
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and
car
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theft
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were consistently the highest
crime
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rates
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throughout the entire period, with a noticeable decrease in both crimes from 2003 to 2004.
Body paragraph 2
Robbery,
on the other hand
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, had lower
crime
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rates
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compared to
burglary
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and
car
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theft
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. The graph shows that there was a slight increase in robbery in 2005 compared to the other years, but
overall
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, the
crime
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rate remained relatively stable throughout the period.
Body paragraph 3
From 2008 to 2012, there was a significant increase in
car
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theft
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, reaching nearly 1000 cases in 2012.
However
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,
burglary
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remained considerably lower compared to
car
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theft
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during
this
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time period.
Conclusion
These trends suggest that
while
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burglary
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and
car
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theft
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were consistently high,
car
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theft
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saw a significant increase in recent years, surpassing
burglary
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in terms of
crime
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rates
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.
bekzodeshonjonovv
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task achievement
The essay does not address the given topic about the migration of young people from the countryside to urban areas and its impact, which leads to a complete deviation from the required task.
task achievement
Your response must directly answer the question by discussing the problems caused by young people moving to urban areas and suggesting possible solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should include a clear introduction and conclusion, which it currently lacks. State the problems in the introduction, discuss them in body paragraphs, and offer solutions in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Develop logical sequencing of ideas with clear paragraphing. The current essay does not provide a structured response to the given topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay should include supported main points with relevant examples or explanations to address the topic. The provided text does not include examples or explanations pertinent to the topic of young people moving to cities.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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