Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is undeniable that monetary assistance from rich societies has not brought benefits to undeveloped
countries
in terms of coping with poverty to some extent. I concur with the statement that wealthy governments should take various kinds of support
which could be more effective and radical when assisting poor nations.
On the one hand, there are several compelling reasons why financial aid fails to assist undeveloped countries
in improving their citizen’s quality of life. First and foremost, money support
is only perceived as a temporary solution so it is hard for them to address thoroughly difficult issues that the poorer countries
are facing. For example
, donating a great deal of money could not help people living in impoverished regions all over the world overcome starvation in the long term. Another reason is that monetary support
could make poor countries
become over-reliant on the
wealthy nations. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, these countries
could not create new and effective strategies which could enhance their socio-economic status in the future.
On the other hand
, there are more beneficial methods to aid poor countries
rather than financial assistance. Firstly
, experts from various fields, such
as the economy, education and environment of the rich countries
could be sent to the deprived areas in order to provide deep training courses for residents there. This
could lead to the improvement of agricultural techniques or the development of the educational system, all of which could have a great contribution to the higher living standards of citizens. Another effective method is that the developed nations could give support
by signing commercial contracts with the
undeveloped Correct article usage
apply
countries
in different sectors. This
would make sure that the impoverished regions could have more opportunities to develop and compete in the international market, creating more jobs with decent and stable income for all citizens, thus
reducing the poverty rate in these areas in the long run.
In conclusion, all things considered, I strongly believe that to help poor countries
overcome poverty in the long term, rich countries
could apply various measures like technical assistance or creating opportunities for economic development instead
of only assisting financial support
.Submitted by truongtumy0108 on
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coherence cohesion
While you present a logical line of reasoning throughout the essay ensured by appropriate paragraphing and cohesive devices, try to incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases to achieve a seamless flow.
coherence cohesion
Effective introduction and conclusion paragraphs are included and they present clear thesis statements and summaries of your viewpoint. However, consider using a slightly broader range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and to enhance sophistication.
coherence cohesion
You have developed and supported main points to an extent, but there could be a richer inclusion of specific examples and data to bolster your arguments further. This would greatly elevate the essay.
task achievement
You have provided a full response to the question posed, clearly showcasing your position throughout the essay. Excellent job on framing your arguments with a relevant and well-deliberated structure.
task achievement
The ideas you have presented are clear and comprehensive, demonstrating an understanding of the topic's complexity. Aim to provide a well-balanced discussion by exploring more diverse aspects of other types of assistance in detail to enrich your response.
task achievement
While you provide relevant examples, strive to include more precise and illustrative examples to reinforce your points. The use of real-world scenarios or case studies would make your arguments more convincing and rooted in practicality.
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