Nowadays , women as well as men work full time. Therefore, women and men should share household tasks equally (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#women #men #work #time #household #tasks #e #g #children

There

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are

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split opinions regarding the household tasks' equality. Some people believe that as women and men work for a living they should share their households as well,

whereas

, another group of thinkers support women should look after cleaning and children. I agree with the statement and my inclination will be discussed in the following paragraphs. Out of all the arguments, the strongest one to prove my opinion is the human body.

This

is to say that all human beings need to do some reset to be healthy and all the tasks should be divided so other people can have some time.

This

will

also

help to decrease stress on just one person.

Moreover

, it is

also

good for having a healthy relationship as they can have more time to spend with each other. The other point is to prove my opinion is strong bonding and fewer conflicts. By

this

, I mean that if men are going to spend more time with children and their life partners there will be better understanding among them. Most of the clash in a relationship happens

due to

a lot of the work on shoulders

that is

out of the hands. Sharing the work with each other can make their temperature normal and have fewer reasons for conflict.

Thus

, to wrap up the discussion, it can be

finally

said that all kinds of tasks at home should be shared to have a healthy relationship

as well as

good physical health. In the big picture,

this

would put less stress on mothers.

Submitted by ss6802125 on Thu Feb 29 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that the introduction of your essay clearly states your position on the issue and briefly outlines the main points you will discuss. This helps to immediately establish your stance and prepares the reader for your arguments.

task achievement

Include specific examples or evidence to support each of your main points. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive. Avoid general statements that do not provide clear support for your position.

coherence and cohesion

Focus on creating clear and logical connections between your ideas. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your essay, ensuring a smooth flow from one argument to the next.

coherence and cohesion

When concluding your essay, restate your main arguments and how they support your thesis. A strong conclusion reinforces your overall message and leaves a lasting impression on the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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