The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays,many
people
prefere
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prefer
to use
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
to
face
communication more than online and have started to pay less
attantion
Correct your spelling
attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
sochial
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social
media
such
as Facebook and Twitter in their
everydays
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everyday
life.Some humans being
concured
Correct your spelling
concerned
with each other ,indicate that
this
method will help
people
to spend more time together,
meanwhile
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meanwhile,
show examples
others comment that plenty of negative
sides
might
be appear
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appear
show examples
, following
offline
Correct article usage
the offline
show examples
interaction method.
This
essay will try to examine both
sides
and explore whether
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
of
this
development outweigh the disadvantages or it's the opposite.
To begin
with,
firsly
Correct your spelling
firstly
it will contribute human-beings to spend more time with each other.Saying thoroughly,humanity will find reasons to meet and new couples might be created.
Thus
,
people
will get to know each other,which was tough to do
due to
some online meeting apps
such
as Omegle.
Moreover
,interacting offline gives you
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to feel
others
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others'
other's
show examples
emotions whether they are angry,happy or depressed.
Hence
,emotional contact is
also
good
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a good
show examples
reason to go out from home.
On the other hand
,regardless
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
fact that online communication apps are
higly
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highly
ignored to some extent in terms of
people
,various
positve
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positive
sides
are
noticible
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noticeable
via online talking.
Firtly
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Firstly
,it allows humanity without
moving
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
from
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
place
Fix the infinitive
to sochilize
show examples
sochilize
Correct your spelling
socialize
socialise
with
people
in a great distance.To be more clear,it is
easy
Add an article
an easy
show examples
way to make
appointment
Add an article
an appointment
show examples
and not spend money on transportation.
For instance
,
instead
of leaving your current country and heading to another country which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
defiantely
Correct your spelling
definitely
requires fairly amount of money for talking, you just make several clicks in
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
app.
Secondly
,
people
might communicate
more
Change preposition
with more
show examples
than 1
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
due to
group chats.
Hence
, it is
also
a great method to make your speech widely listened
,which
Change preposition
to,which
show examples
is complicated to gather all
people
from different parts of the world. Taking everything into account,it depends on the person whether
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
will outweigh the advantages or not.From my point of view,both methods have their pros and cons
sides
and choosing only
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
communication may
defenately
Correct your spelling
definitely
generate some
bariages
Correct your spelling
barrages
marriages
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
human-beings
Correct your spelling
human beings
show examples
.
Submitted by alex.martirosyan201206 on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are fundamental to present your argument effectively. The introduction should outline the main points briefly and clearly. The conclusion should summarize your argument and restate your position, providing a final comment on the topic.
Coherence
The essay lacks coherence in places due to repetitive language and lack of clear logical connectors between ideas. Work on using a variety of cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Furthermore', 'As a result', and 'In contrast' to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Response
Your arguments lack clear supporting examples. To score higher, include relevant and specific examples that illustrate and support your points. This adds weight to your arguments and demonstrates an ability to draw on personal or general knowledge.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communication
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • self-expression
  • creativity
  • information
  • perspectives
  • maintain
  • genuine
  • miscommunication
  • misunderstandings
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • addiction
  • excessive screen time
  • privacy concerns
  • online security risks
What to do next:
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