IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are two opinions about being in maintenance conditions or trying new experiences. Some
people
Use synonyms
, including me, are keen on trying
things
Use synonyms
,
for instance
Linking Words
, places to visit and foods that are new, but others would rather keep doing
things
Use synonyms
 in a familiar manner. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 justifiably say that trying new
things
Use synonyms
 can be beneficial for expanding knowledge and broadening other
people
Use synonyms
’s horizons.
This
Linking Words
 means that
as a result
Linking Words
 of visiting new places or types of foods, they are supposed to be familiar with different ideas and personalities.
For example
Linking Words
, travelling to other countries
such
Linking Words
 as Turkey can provide other
people
Use synonyms
 with opportunities to increase their information about different festivals, shopping centres and new methods of civilization. These
people
Use synonyms
 believe trying new
things
Use synonyms
 not only improves their knowledge about new ways of life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 new food experiences can be beneficial for promoting different options for cooking and informing them about new tastes and ingredients.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, another group of
people
Use synonyms
 claims that they prefer to be stable in a familiar manner. They insist that they failed to accept various risks of trying new
things
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that they can organize their time and money efficiently. They consider that if they spend money on new
things
Use synonyms
 including places or foods rather than current ones, these
things
Use synonyms
 are likely not to be suitable and pleasant.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it can lead to wasting time and spending money.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
, they prefer to stay in their comfort zone. In my idea, it is not a valid concern,
due to
Linking Words
 they can consult with some
people
Use synonyms
 who are prominent in new
things
Use synonyms
 in search of cost-efficient and time-saving options. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 new experiences may result in too much spending time and wasting budget, I believe that
due to
Linking Words
 increasing information about new opinions and providing various opportunities, trying new manners is preferable.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, try to include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
task achievement
Work on maintaining a consistent viewpoint throughout the essay to ensure clear and comprehensive ideas are presented. This helps in making your argument more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Consider structuring the essay with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. This will improve the logical structure and overall clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are strong, make sure the main points in the body paragraphs are thoroughly connected and flow smoothly from one idea to the next. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your arguments effectively.
complete response
You provide a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are generally clear and comprehensible, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Novelty
  • Routine
  • Comfort zone
  • Risk-taker
  • Risk-averse
  • Enrichment
  • Personal growth
  • Innovation
  • Creativity
  • Stability
  • Tradition
  • Habit
  • Familiarity
  • Personal enrichment
  • Life stages
  • Fulfilling
What to do next:
Look at other essays: