Now adays the population of young people is more than old people in the countries. And it benefit us To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days the population of youngsters is increased than senior citizens . in the
nation
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nation,
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some people
believes
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believe
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that
new
Correct article usage
the new
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generation
have
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has
show examples
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
positive impact on society . I completely agree with
this
statement
To begin
with ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young people are more
usefull
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useful
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
to
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apply
show examples
explicate , because they have a great knowledge about the things happening in the world
due to
the
Morden
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modern
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technologies , on
other
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the other
show examples
side they are more helpful to
sarounders
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around
they open
welfares
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welfare
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help
peoples
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people
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more than old once they help regards to medical treatments. Take a
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Phonix
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phonix
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Phonix
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association as
a
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an
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example they help a lot of peoples , providing food and other medical facilities during the
Covid 19
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Covid-19
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pandemic
on the other hand
young people can give a good economy to the country
due to
increasing technology and knowledge ,
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
everyone
give
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gives
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first preference to studies every which will help in increasing the GDP of the country if any country wants to grow there economy growth they should use a young brain
On the other hand
, it has a negative influence as well , as we are all
well connected
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well-connected
show examples
to our parents they always
gives
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give
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us
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life lessons so that we can achieve
a
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apply
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great things in life .
Moreover
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Moreover,
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if we need any advice we take from them , the
Correct your spelling
benefits
benifits
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benefits
of older age
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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limited In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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I conclude that the positive of older age is limited
, .
Change the punctuation
,
.
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I believe the younger population create a great impact on
economy
Add an article
the economy
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Submitted by dayyanjkhan03 on

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structure
The essay lacks a clear structure that safely guides the reader from introduction to conclusion. Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct idea that builds upon the previous one.
introduction/conclusion
The presence of an introduction and conclusion is noted, but these sections need to be more defined and clear. They should respectively set the stage for the discussion and summarize the main points effectively.
support
The main points outlined in the essay require further support through relevant, detailed examples or data. Aim to develop your arguments more fully with specific illustrations to strengthen your position.
completion
A more complete response to the task is needed that covers all aspects of the topic. The essay should directly address the prompt by providing a thorough argument, weighing both the benefits and drawbacks of a youthful population.
clarity
The essay should consistently express comprehensive ideas clearly and coherently. Strive for precision in your language choice and sentence construction to avoid ambiguity or confusion.
relevance
The use of specific examples is crucial for illustrating your points. Ensure that the examples you provide are directly relevant to the topic and persuasive enough to support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Demographic shift
  • Dynamic workforce
  • Economic growth
  • Innovation
  • Adaptable culture
  • Technological advancements
  • Educational systems
  • Quality education
  • Competition for jobs
  • Professional development
  • Healthcare systems
  • Public spending
  • Cultural shifts
  • Progressive attitudes
  • Social issues
  • Intergenerational tension
  • Policy changes
  • Entrepreneurial spirit
  • Economic diversity
  • Dependency ratio
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