Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In my opinion, the poverty of a

country

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is not depend

Change the verb form

does not depend

It appears that the form of the verb depend does not work with is in this sentence.

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on the financial

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

aids

Fix the agreement mistake

aid

It seems that aids may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of other rich

countries

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.It is only the responsibility of its own government. Education, which can be regarded as

a

Correct article usage

the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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foundation of a

country

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,is the main thing for building

developing

Add an article

the developing

a developing

The noun phrase developing country seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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country

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.The more educated the citizens are,the greater

chance

Correct article usage

the chance

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of the

country

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to develop.

Therefore

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, nowadays there are numerous

of

Change preposition

apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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scholarships offered especially to developing

countries

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

The financial

Correct article usage

Financial

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

aids

Fix the agreement mistake

aid

It seems that aids may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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from other developed

countries

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

might be helpful but it

also

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

depends on the government to make well-used of

those

Correct determiner usage

that

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

aids

Fix the agreement mistake

aid

It seems that aids may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.Making opportunities for young citizens,

guiding

Correct word choice

and guiding

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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them

the

Change preposition

on the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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way to

better

Add an article

a better

The noun phrase better life seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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life are other kinds of help for developing

countries

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In conclusion, I would like to argue that the future of a

country

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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should not depend on other

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

countries

Change noun form

countries'

country's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

aids

Correct subject-verb agreement

aid

It seems that the verb aids does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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.It is only the responsibility of the government and citizens to make changes for themselves. C

shwesinmoe243Thu Dec 14 2023

introduction conclusion present

Your response lacks a clear introduction and conclusion that directly addresses the essay question. The introduction should clearly state your position on the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement, and the conclusion should summarize your main points effectively.

logical structure

The logical structure of your essay is weak, with ideas not flowing naturally from one to the next. Utilize clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea, and ensure that each subsequent sentence supports and develops that idea.

supported main points

The main points in your argument are not well-supported with relevant examples or evidence, which could strengthen your position. Whenever you present an idea, follow it with specific examples or deeper analysis to demonstrate its validity.

complete response

Your essay did not fully address all parts of the task. To improve task achievement, ensure that you respond to all aspects of the prompt comprehensively, providing a balanced view with relevant arguments for and against, as well as clear examples to back up your claims.

clear comprehensive ideas

While your essay does present some ideas relevant to the prompt, they need to be more fully developed and expanded upon to form a clear and comprehensive argument. Strive to elaborate on each point with detailed explanations and examples.

relevant specific examples

Your essay lacks specific examples to illustrate the points made. Specific examples are crucial because they provide evidence to support your arguments and make your essay more persuasive. Consider using case studies, statistics, or cited expert opinions to bolster your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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