Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.
In my opinion, the poverty of a
country
is not depend
on the financial Change the verb form
does not depend
aids
of other rich Fix the agreement mistake
aid
countries
.It is only the responsibility of its own government.
Education, which can be regarded as a
foundation of a Correct article usage
the
country
,is the main thing for building developing
Add an article
the developing
a developing
country
.The more educated the citizens are,the greater chance
of the Correct article usage
the chance
country
to develop.Therefore
, nowadays there are numerous of
scholarships offered especially to developing Change preposition
apply
countries
.The financial
Correct article usage
Financial
aids
from other developed Fix the agreement mistake
aid
countries
might be helpful but it also
depends on the government to make well-used of those
Correct determiner usage
that
aids
.Making opportunities for young citizens, Fix the agreement mistake
aid
guiding
them Correct word choice
and guiding
the
way to Change preposition
on the
better
life are other kinds of help for developing Add an article
a better
countries
.
In conclusion, I would like to argue that the future of a country
should not depend on other countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
aids
.It is only the responsibility of the government and citizens to make changes for themselves.
CCorrect subject-verb agreement
aid
Submitted by shwesinmoe243 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Your response lacks a clear introduction and conclusion that directly addresses the essay question. The introduction should clearly state your position on the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement, and the conclusion should summarize your main points effectively.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is weak, with ideas not flowing naturally from one to the next. Utilize clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea, and ensure that each subsequent sentence supports and develops that idea.
supported main points
The main points in your argument are not well-supported with relevant examples or evidence, which could strengthen your position. Whenever you present an idea, follow it with specific examples or deeper analysis to demonstrate its validity.
complete response
Your essay did not fully address all parts of the task. To improve task achievement, ensure that you respond to all aspects of the prompt comprehensively, providing a balanced view with relevant arguments for and against, as well as clear examples to back up your claims.
clear comprehensive ideas
While your essay does present some ideas relevant to the prompt, they need to be more fully developed and expanded upon to form a clear and comprehensive argument. Strive to elaborate on each point with detailed explanations and examples.
relevant specific examples
Your essay lacks specific examples to illustrate the points made. Specific examples are crucial because they provide evidence to support your arguments and make your essay more persuasive. Consider using case studies, statistics, or cited expert opinions to bolster your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.