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Band 5.5

Many young people today leave their own countries to work abroad. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages on working abroad and give your own opinion.

#people #countries #work
One of the social concerns today relates to working abroad.
While
 it is widely assumed that working overseas is a great choice, others believe the opposite. In my opinion, working abroad helps society to reduce the wealth gap and provide working opportunities for
people
 in poverty. On the one hand, there is always a drawback for many young residents who work in foreign. They have to have the ability to adapt to the working environment
as well as
 the culture of a nation which is rarely found in new generations.
Hence
, eliminating is an inevitable thing that young
people
 without adaptability have to face.
For instance
, Japan is one of the countries with a strict working culture which leads
people
 to work harder than before.
Consequently
, physical and mental health are something that youngsters have to deal with
however
 their finances will be improved.
On the other hand
, there are many benefits that youngsters can get from working abroad. The main benefit is that working in a leading country can provide them higher salary than before.
Additionally
, they are likely to work in better working conditions and have numerous working relationships
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and amenities.
For instance
, working in Canada, Australia or America provides multiple advantages
such
 as welfare, severance allowance and health insurance. In conclusion,
while
 working in a foreign gives young
people
 some drawbacks, it is a good decision since they can gain more knowledge , experience and salary
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you have clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the task provided. Focus on establishing a clear argument and maintaining a consistent thread throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points fully by expanding on your ideas with detailed examples or explanations. Each advantage or disadvantage should be discussed thoroughly to meet the task requirements.
task achievement
To fully address the task, ensure that your essay consistently refers back to the question throughout the response. Evaluate both the positive and negative aspects equitably, and provide a clear personal opinion.
task achievement
Provide specific, detailed examples to support your ideas or arguments. Usage of hypothetical or real-world cases can strengthen your main points and show a deeper level of understanding on the topic at hand.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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