Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development?
Nowadays, some governments try to escalate the number of their achievements in the
sports
sphere by building up international sports
centres
for top athletes
, while
society argues about that idea as it wants to have more multisport sports
centers
. In my essay, I talk about each part of the benefits of investing Change the spelling
centres
the
government in each sphere.
It is an indisputable fact that players will perform better under the guidance of a qualified coach in a convenient environment. Change preposition
in the
According to
the Forbes research about the new "Christall Sports
Hall" for athletes
at Paris City College, the data showed a significant increase as the athletes
felt much more free and motivated to achieve new goals for building their future careers. As a result
of the international championship, the athletes
who graduated from this
college had
won four gold and two silver medals, which was a boost for that young athlete's future career and for the Parisian economy.
Unnecessary verb
apply
On the other hand
, the government should fund more local sports
centres
to maintain a healthy vibe among the citizens. By opening new gyms, boxing, or gymnastics courses for kids the government opens the opportunity for its citizens to find new hobbies. For instance
, if some individual who was not planning to become an athlete one day suddenly changes his mind because he finds himself keen on sports
. Finally
, that individual could end up as a brilliant athlete and make his country famous according to
his achievements. Secondly
, exercise makes individuals fitter and healthier. This
implies that global health statistics for the typical person would rise. Consequently
, the nation's reputation for excellent health would grow.
In conclusion, I think that both local and international sports
centres
bring a lot of benefits to different spheres of a country's life. International centres
boost the economy and business, while
their citizens
health would be improved by local convenient fitness Change to a genitive case
citizen's
citizens'
centres
.Submitted by zakhra.aliyeva2001 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs are well-developed and contain relevant details that are adequately explained. Use clear topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph, and make sure that all subsequent sentences are coherent and directly related to the topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating more sophisticated linking phrases which will help to connect ideas more smoothly and make your argumentation flow more logically.
task achievement
Respond to all parts of the task with sufficient detail. While you've provided an overview, a more detailed development of ideas with specific, relevant examples would enhance the response.
task achievement
Aim for a fully developed essay that provides a balanced view on the topic. While both viewpoints are represented, one could argue in greater detail and present more nuanced ideas.