“In many societies in the world, the population is aging rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

#“in #societies #world #population #cost #healthcare #nation’s #provision #future

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since the start of the world, all of us have

withness

Correct your spelling

witness

show examples

Change the article

show examples

enourmous

Correct your spelling

enormous

growth in population, and because of that a lot of places in the world are suffering from the increased cost of their

puplic

Correct your spelling

public

healthcare

. Because of that the general

puplic

Correct your spelling

public

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

supporting their

government

by participating in paying for it. I agree with

this

to a high extent first things first. As we all know

puplic

Correct your spelling

public

healthcare

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

a great impact

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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society. simply because

this

have

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has

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become a standard in

peoples

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people's

show examples

life, without it we might

suffered

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suffer

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from many different

type

Change to a plural noun

types

show examples

of pain and Illness, both physically and mentally.

for

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

theres

Correct your spelling

there

is a ton of people who lacks personal

healthcare

which lead to many

problem

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show examples

their life like having an illness but not treating it properly or in time or in general not really

care

Wrong verb form

caring

show examples

about it. because of that, to live a good and healthy life the community

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

to pay attention to their

healthcare

problem

additionally

. for all

this

time we have put the

government

in a position to tackle

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

important

manners

Correct your spelling

matters

show examples

. But now

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

our turn to provide them with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

support on

this

impactful

problem

. By

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

way of example we can see from all the previous

disaster

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disasters

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regarding the

healthcare

problem

such

as the flu pandemic,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the global epidemic of

hiv

Correct your spelling

HIV

/aids or the most recent one the covid-19 have

damage

Wrong verb form

damaged

show examples

both the

economics

Replace the word

economy

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and the population of the community

it self

Correct your spelling

itself

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. because of that each one of us

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to take

parts

Fix the agreement mistake

part

show examples

in helping the

government

by taking action on our own

healthcare

To conclude

this

essay. I highly agree with

this

statement because not just the

government

are responsible for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Change noun form

society's

show examples

healthcare

but

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

, the

puplic

Correct your spelling

people

also

have to pay attention to it and take care of it

ourself

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves

show examples

Submitted by pomgng0 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

Develop your essay structurally with clear paragraphs, each ideally containing a single main idea supported by specific examples. Avoid clusters of information without clear order.

coherence cohesion

Include an introduction that paraphrases the question and sets out your position clearly, followed by body paragraphs that expand on your main points, and a conclusion that summarises your argument and reiterates your opinion.

task achievement

Ensure that examples are specific and directly relevant to the points you are making. Abstract examples detract from the strength of your argument and lower your score in this area.

task achievement

Use a range of sentence structures to convey your ideas effectively. Avoid repetitive and simplistic structures as this can impact the clarity and comprehensiveness of your essay.

task achievement

Your response must address all parts of the prompt. Be consistent throughout your essay in developing your position in relation to the prompt to avoid being penalised for incomplete response.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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“In many societies in the world, the population is aging rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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More and more people use private motorbikes or cars instead of taking public transport. What are the reasons for this trend? How can the government encourage people to take public transport? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development?