“In many societies in the world, the population is aging rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”
since the start of the world, all of us have
withness
Correct your spelling
witness
a
Change the article
an
enourmous
growth in population, and because of that a lot of places in the world are suffering from the increased cost of their Correct your spelling
enormous
puplic
Correct your spelling
public
healthcare
. Because of that the general puplic
Correct your spelling
public
are
supporting their Correct subject-verb agreement
is
government
by participating in paying for it. I agree with this
to a high extent
first things first. As we all know puplic
Correct your spelling
public
healthcare
have
a great impact Correct subject-verb agreement
has
to
Change preposition
on
the
society. simply because Correct article usage
apply
this
have
become a standard in Change the verb form
has
peoples
life, without it we might Change noun form
people's
suffered
from many different Change the verb form
suffer
type
of pain and Illness, both physically and mentally. Change to a plural noun
types
for
instance
Add a comma
instance,
theres
is a ton of people who lacks personal Correct your spelling
there
healthcare
which lead to many problem
to
their life like having an illness but not treating it properly or in time or in general not really Change preposition
in
care
about it. because of that, to live a good and healthy life the community Wrong verb form
caring
have
to pay attention to their Correct subject-verb agreement
has
healthcare
problem
additionally
. for all this
time we have put the government
in a position to tackle the
important Correct article usage
apply
manners
. But now Correct your spelling
matters
its
our turn to provide them with Replace the word
it's
it is
the
support on Correct article usage
apply
this
impactful problem
. By the
way of example we can see from all the previous Correct article usage
apply
disaster
regarding the Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
healthcare
problem
such
as the flu pandemic, or
the global epidemic of Correct word choice
apply
hiv
/aids or the most recent one the covid-19 have Correct your spelling
HIV
damage
both the Wrong verb form
damaged
economics
and the population of the community Replace the word
economy
it self
. because of that each one of us Correct your spelling
itself
have
to take Change the verb form
has
parts
in helping the Fix the agreement mistake
part
government
by taking action on our own healthcare
To conclude
this
essay. I highly agree with this
statement because not just the government
are responsible for the
Correct article usage
apply
society
Change noun form
society's
healthcare
but us
, the Correct pronoun usage
we
puplic
Correct your spelling
people
also
have to pay attention to it and take care of it ourself
.Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
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coherence cohesion
Develop your essay structurally with clear paragraphs, each ideally containing a single main idea supported by specific examples. Avoid clusters of information without clear order.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that paraphrases the question and sets out your position clearly, followed by body paragraphs that expand on your main points, and a conclusion that summarises your argument and reiterates your opinion.
task achievement
Ensure that examples are specific and directly relevant to the points you are making. Abstract examples detract from the strength of your argument and lower your score in this area.
task achievement
Use a range of sentence structures to convey your ideas effectively. Avoid repetitive and simplistic structures as this can impact the clarity and comprehensiveness of your essay.
task achievement
Your response must address all parts of the prompt. Be consistent throughout your essay in developing your position in relation to the prompt to avoid being penalised for incomplete response.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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