Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? Give reason to your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays some people want to
do
Verb problem
be
show examples
self-employed, rather than to
work
for
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
or organization. Some want to do
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
and some don'
t
want to do
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
. When you are
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
self-employed rather than
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
for
company
Add an article
a company
the company
show examples
, there are many disadvantages.
Firstly
you don'
t
get success for 2 or 3 years. In these years you are doing self-employed
work
and don'
t
get money. When you
work
for
company
Add an article
a company
show examples
you get
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
on time. When you are working
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
self-employed you are
owner
Add an article
the owner
show examples
and you can'
t
get
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
or money for
house
Add an article
a house
the house
show examples
. When you get money you do invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
other things. How to manage your household expenses.
House hold
Correct your spelling
Household
show examples
expenses for child and everything in it.
Submitted by haloj784 on

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task achievement
Task response falls short as there is a lack of development in the essay. Answers must be expanded upon with more detail and must address all parts of the task comprehensively. Also, examples provided were not sufficiently developed or entirely relevant.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear structure and transitions. Organize ideas into clear paragraphs, each containing one main idea with supporting sentences. Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas and make the text easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
Introduction and conclusion are critical to establish context and summarize main points but were missing in the essay provided. Ensure to include these in the essay structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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