Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effect will this have on society?

#criminals #crimes #prison #effect #society

The rate of crime recommitment in

people

who end their

emprisonment

Correct your spelling

imprisonment

period is remarkably high.

This

can be

due to

the negative view that

society

holds towards past prisoners and the fact that it is challenging to get a reputable job once

someone

has a criminal record. The aftermath of

this

issue is that

instead

of one-time offenders,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sociaty

Correct your spelling

society

will have

criminals

who believe illegal activities are their only choice which makes it easier for them to commit them. Imprisonment is hard to erase from

someone

's records.

This

means

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

that once

someone

is charged with an offence and

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

jail

Add an article

a jail

show examples

in their records, they cannot go back to how things were before that. The

society

, as a whole, views past

criminals

with a negative bias. Most

people

find it hard to trust

people

who have a history of illegal activity. Prisoners might get out of jail with the hope of a fresh start, but once out, they will face

Remove the article

apply

show examples

resistance from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

to welcome them back. The past criminal believes they have paid for their mistake lawfully, but the harsh reality of being viewed as an outcast hits them in the face.

Furthermore

, finding employment with a criminal record is a challenge. Most reputable jobs that ensure financial and mental stability, require a clean police record. Without a clearance from the police, the only options that remain attainable for

someone

who has gotten out of prison are usually hard

labours

Correct your spelling

labourers

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

pay below the minimum wage and provide no health insurance.

This

quickly erases any hopes of a better

future

for past

criminals

As a result

, once they find it impossible to reunite with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

and with no prospect of a fulfilling

future

, one-time offenders turn back to illegal activities as a

last

resort.

Recommiting

Correct your spelling

Recommitting

crimes by

people

who have finished their sentence

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

serious implications for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

. The most important effect of

this

reality is the increase in the number of teenage

criminals

. When

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

makes a first-time

offend

Replace the word

offence

show examples

so costly, teenagers who once, might have

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

a crime under the influence of bad companions or emotional instability, will find it the easiest to stick to the criminal ways because

that is

probably the only place they will receive approval and acceptance.

This

effectively ruins their

future

. A

society

which's

Unnecessary verb

which

show examples

teenagers and young adults can detach from it so easily will soon encounter low degrees of hopefulness.

Consequently

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

workforce will be less motivated to build a better community.

This

will gradually move

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

towards demise. All in all, once

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

sentenced to prison, alleged

criminals

will find that they are not welcome in the community they once belonged to. They will be turned down

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

prosperous jobs.

Thesee

Correct your spelling

These

are the reasons that

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

them believe

commiting

Correct your spelling

committing

illegal activity again is their best option.

As a result

, specifically

Change preposition

show examples

younger ages, the bright

future

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

could see for themselves is ruined. Gradually, the

society

will see a decline in the rate of hopefulness.

Submitted by zohreh.naghsh on Thu Dec 14 2023

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task achievement

The essay should consistently maintain a formal academic tone; avoid colloquialisms such as 'hits them in the face' and strive for more formal phrasing throughout.

task achievement

Develop your ideas further by providing specific examples that illustrate your points, such as statistics or studies related to recidivism rates, to enhance the depth of your analysis.

coherence cohesion

While the essay contains some logical structure, improve the flow by using a wider range of cohesive devices to clearly connect ideas and paragraphs. As an example, use linking words or phrases to introduce opposing viewpoints or to add information.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a clear paragraph structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph introduces a clear main idea and subsequent sentences expand on that idea.

coherence cohesion

Check for runaway sentences that may be too long and confusing. Split complex ideas into multiple sentences for clarity and ease of understanding.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

502 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effect will this have on society?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think it js better for children to growp up in the city while other thinks countryside ks more suitable. What are rhe advantges and disadvantages of both places ?

some people think that it is good for a country’s culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

In many countries plastic bags are the main source of rubbish causing pollution in oceans and on land; therefore they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?