Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effect will this have on society?
The rate of crime recommitment in
people
who end their emprisonment
period is remarkably high. Correct your spelling
imprisonment
This
can be due to
the negative view that society
holds towards past prisoners and the fact that it is challenging to get a reputable job once someone
has a criminal record. The aftermath of this
issue is that instead
of one-time offenders, the
Correct article usage
apply
sociaty
will have Correct your spelling
society
criminals
who believe illegal activities are their only choice which makes it easier for them to commit them.
Imprisonment is hard to erase from someone
's records. This
means is
that once Unnecessary verb
apply
someone
is charged with an offence and have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
jail
in their records, they cannot go back to how things were before that. The Add an article
a jail
society
, as a whole, views past criminals
with a negative bias. Most people
find it hard to trust people
who have a history of illegal activity. Prisoners might get out of jail with the hope of a fresh start, but once out, they will face a
resistance from Remove the article
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
to welcome them back. The past criminal believes they have paid for their mistake lawfully, but the harsh reality of being viewed as an outcast hits them in the face. Furthermore
, finding employment with a criminal record is a challenge. Most reputable jobs that ensure financial and mental stability, require a clean police record. Without a clearance from the police, the only options that remain attainable for someone
who has gotten out of prison are usually hard labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
that
pay below the minimum wage and provide no health insurance. Correct pronoun usage
who
This
quickly erases any hopes of a better future
for past criminals
. As a result
, once they find it impossible to reunite with the
Correct article usage
apply
society
and with no prospect of a fulfilling future
, one-time offenders turn back to illegal activities as a last
resort.
Recommiting
crimes by Correct your spelling
Recommitting
people
who have finished their sentence has
serious implications for Change the verb form
have
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. The most important effect of this
reality is the increase in the number of teenage criminals
. When the
Correct article usage
apply
society
makes a first-time offend
so costly, teenagers who once, might have Replace the word
offence
commited
a crime under the influence of bad companions or emotional instability, will find it the easiest to stick to the criminal ways because Correct your spelling
committed
that is
probably the only place they will receive approval and acceptance. This
effectively ruins their future
. A society
which's
teenagers and young adults can detach from it so easily will soon encounter low degrees of hopefulness. Unnecessary verb
which
Consequently
, young
workforce will be less motivated to build a better community. Add an article
the young
This
will gradually move the
Correct article usage
apply
society
towards demise.
All in all, once being
sentenced to prison, alleged Unnecessary verb
apply
criminals
will find that they are not welcome in the community they once belonged to. They will be turned down from
prosperous jobs. Change preposition
for
Thesee
are the reasons that Correct your spelling
These
makes
them believe Change the verb form
make
commiting
illegal activity again is their best option. Correct your spelling
committing
As a result
, specifically in
younger ages, the bright Change preposition
at
future
the
could see for themselves is ruined. Gradually, the Correct your spelling
they
society
will see a decline in the rate of hopefulness.Submitted by zohreh.naghsh on
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task achievement
The essay should consistently maintain a formal academic tone; avoid colloquialisms such as 'hits them in the face' and strive for more formal phrasing throughout.
task achievement
Develop your ideas further by providing specific examples that illustrate your points, such as statistics or studies related to recidivism rates, to enhance the depth of your analysis.
coherence cohesion
While the essay contains some logical structure, improve the flow by using a wider range of cohesive devices to clearly connect ideas and paragraphs. As an example, use linking words or phrases to introduce opposing viewpoints or to add information.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear paragraph structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph introduces a clear main idea and subsequent sentences expand on that idea.
coherence cohesion
Check for runaway sentences that may be too long and confusing. Split complex ideas into multiple sentences for clarity and ease of understanding.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example