Today, TV channels show more men’s sports than women’s sports. Why is this the case? Should TV channels give equal time for women’s sport and men’s sport?

#tv #channels #show #men’s #sports #women’s #case #time #sport

Today, TV programs often broadcast more

men

’s sporting events than

women

’s. In my opinion, I believe that the main reason for

this

Correct article usage

the

show examples

lot of benefits that

this

matter brings and there should be more effort in balancing the showtime of

two

Correct article usage

the two

show examples

programs. The biggest concern of program producers is viewership,

while

the majority of

sports

viewers are

men

Therefore

, the station needs to provide

men

’s

sports

shows because it is more popular and popular with

men

. A large audience can bring a lot of economic benefits,

in other

words

Add the comma(s)

words,

show examples

it ensures views and profits for the station.

In addition

it is clear that

men

often outperform

women

in physical activities.

For example

, they participate in

sports

at a higher intensity in most subjects

such

as boxing or bodybuilding which give viewers a sense of the feeling is more exciting and interesting. So, it is understandable that television stations spend more

time

men

sports

programs.

However

, we now live in a modern world where there is no gender discrimination and

men

and

women

are equal, so it is necessary to balance the

time

Change preposition

between

show examples

male and female

sports

. If

this

is done, it creates gender equality and encourages more

women

to participate in

sports

Women

put in as much effort as

men

in competitions, so they should

also

receive the recognition they deserve by equalizing broadcast

time

Besides

, appearing on television means that the image of female athletes becomes popular with the public. From that,

women

have the opportunity to participate in advertising contracts and become brand representatives, which can increase their income. In conclusion, regardless of gender, female genders have the skills and competence to demonstrate their talent. For these reasons, there is the consideration that giving

women

sports

more publicity can help to alter public perception over

time

and bring financial benefits.

Submitted by vuongquynh2006 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

To improve your coherence and cohesion score, focus on creating more logical connections between your ideas. This includes using a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow from one argument to the next.

Coherence & Cohesion

Strengthen your introduction and conclusion by clearly stating your thesis and summarizing your main points. This helps to encapsulate what the essay is about and what conclusions can be drawn.

Coherence & Cohesion

Support your main points with more concrete examples and specific details. This will add depth to your arguments and increase the persuasiveness of your essay.

Task Achievement

Ensure that each paragraph fully addresses the prompts provided by the task. Expand on your ideas to demonstrate a complete understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

You should develop your ideas more comprehensively. While you have touched on important aspects of the topic, giving more detailed explanations and a wider variety of ideas can enrich your essay.

Task Achievement

Include more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your points. Examples help to illustrate your ideas, making them more tangible and convincing to readers.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today, TV channels show more men’s sports than women’s sports. Why is this the case? Should TV channels give equal time for women’s sport and men’s sport?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Education, from preschool through university, should be paid for by the government and therefore free to students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that studying overseas is advantageous, while others think it is disadvantageous. What's your opinion?

Global warming is one of the biggest threats human faces in 21st century and sea levels are continuing to rise at an alarming rate. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions?

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?