Today, TV channels show more men’s sports than women’s sports. Why is this the case? Should TV channels give equal time for women’s sport and men’s sport?

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Today, TV programs often broadcast more
men
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’s sporting events than
women
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’s. In my opinion, I believe that the main reason for
this
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is
a
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the
show examples
lot of benefits that
this
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matter brings and there should be more effort in balancing the showtime of
two
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the two
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programs. The biggest concern of program producers is viewership,
while
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the majority of
sports
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viewers are
men
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.
Therefore
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, the station needs to provide
men
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’s
sports
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shows because it is more popular and popular with
men
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. A large audience can bring a lot of economic benefits,
in other
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words
Add the comma(s)
words,
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it ensures views and profits for the station.
In addition
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,
it is clear that
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men
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often outperform
women
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in physical activities.
For example
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, they participate in
sports
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at a higher intensity in most subjects
such
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as boxing or bodybuilding which give viewers a sense of the feeling is more exciting and interesting. So, it is understandable that television stations spend more
time
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on
men
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's
sports
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programs.
However
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, we now live in a modern world where there is no gender discrimination and
men
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and
women
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are equal, so it is necessary to balance the
time
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of
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between
show examples
male and female
sports
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. If
this
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is done, it creates gender equality and encourages more
women
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to participate in
sports
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.
Women
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put in as much effort as
men
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in competitions, so they should
also
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receive the recognition they deserve by equalizing broadcast
time
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.
Besides
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, appearing on television means that the image of female athletes becomes popular with the public. From that,
women
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have the opportunity to participate in advertising contracts and become brand representatives, which can increase their income. In conclusion, regardless of gender, female genders have the skills and competence to demonstrate their talent. For these reasons, there is the consideration that giving
women
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sports
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more publicity can help to alter public perception over
time
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and bring financial benefits.
Submitted by vuongquynh2006 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
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You should develop your ideas more comprehensively. While you have touched on important aspects of the topic, giving more detailed explanations and a wider variety of ideas can enrich your essay.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your points. Examples help to illustrate your ideas, making them more tangible and convincing to readers.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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