In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Different views among setting practical
cultures
about advising children
to try hard toward gaining
their various Verb problem
achieving
goals
have been a vital topic of debate. While
in some cultures
, it is argued that children
can achieve their goals
by trying hard, I strongly disagree with this
approach and believe that children
can reach their ambitionsChange preposition
by
goals
.
First of all, making an effort has brought various benefits for both children
and societies, developing advanced communications. Therefore
, if children
are encouraged by their parents and schools from younger ages, they will inherently become more successful in achieving their goals
. For instance
, some intelligent children
need encouragement from their environment to set significant goals
in life, such
as achieving higher education in science and technology, which can play a significant role in improving and advancing societies. Additionally
, it is evident that the more effort individuals make from
younger ages, the more success they can achieve in the future.
Change preposition
at
Conversely
, however
, in some cultures
, parents and schools put countless pressures on children
to achieve their goals
, leading to harmful consequences, such
as less self-esteem and confidence. In other words
, these kinds of extra pressures can result in detrimental effects. A prime illustration of this
is a boy who finds himself under a lot of pressure to take extracurriculars in science and mathematics at school, whereas
he is inherently interested in art disciplines. As a result
, this
boy, as a young man, might be raised with a sense of lack of confidence. Moreover
, by placing more emphasis on inherent intelligence and natural gifts, it is essential to prevent children
from setting unachievable goals
for themselves.
In conclusion, there are various opinions in different cultures
about advising children
to exert a lot of effort to become successful. Although
there are various benefits to this
approach, I strongly disagree with this
approach and argue that children
should set achievable goals
in their lives.Submitted by mahanz on
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coherence cohesion
Consider strengthening the logical connection between sentences and ideas within paragraphs to enhance readability.
task achievement
Work on including more varied examples to support your arguments thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay, providing a strong start and finish.
task achievement
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view on the topic.
task achievement
The argument is supported with specific examples that are relevant to the topic discussed.