IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

news media has become more infulential in peoples lives. some believe it is a negative development. to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#news #media #peoples #lives #believe #development
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In the contemporary era,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
media
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 has become more flexible and more
infulential
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influential
 in
individuals
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individuals'
individual's
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. the majority of pupils think that it is a negative
development
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. In
this
Linking Words
evidence
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evidence,
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i
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I
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am
Unnecessary verb
apply
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partically
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partially
particularly
 disagree.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the constructive side, the first and
formost
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foremost
development
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 is that which
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 current
news
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 almost instantaneously is undeniable. It gives me a good feeling that they belong to a small global village and
individual
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individuals
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 totally
congizant
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cognizant
 about current
news
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 in the world very frequently.
However
Linking Words
, the second and the significant
development
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 is that it fills up the gap between the government and the people. most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 would never meet a prime minister or president in our lives, but these days people
everyday
Rephrase
apply
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seen
Wrong verb form
see
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 the government
due to
Linking Words
 television. so,
thats
Correct your spelling
that
 is the most significant
development
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 of
news
Use synonyms
media
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.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 with the
dectructive
Correct your spelling
destructive
 side, it is true that there are
many
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much
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 good
Use synonyms
development
Change to a plural noun
developments
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of
Change preposition
in
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news
Use synonyms
media
Use synonyms
 but some are negative
development
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 of
news
Use synonyms
media
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
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 harmful effect
of
Change preposition
on
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 society and government.
first
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The first
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 and
formost
Correct your spelling
foremost
 reason is that they
spreading
Wrong verb form
spread
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 fake
news
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, directly impacting personal lives.
For example
Linking Words
, some celebrities suffer from depression
due to
Linking Words
 the rumours spread in their names,
that is
Linking Words
 the reason.
therefore
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,
second
Add an article
the second
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 reason is that there are contents like violence or prostitution which are unsuitable for children. they get easily tempted by those, which affects their mental stability.
To conclude
Linking Words
, It seems to me that
news
Use synonyms
media
Use synonyms
 have
a positive phenomena
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive phenomenon
positive phenomena
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 and it is hoped that
free pass
Correct your spelling
Free Pass
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 will continue to grow with the help of technology and modern tools.
Submitted by yogeshkashyap6879 on

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coherence cohesion
- Ensure that your ideas are logically ordered and that each paragraph clearly relates to the topic and to the other parts of the text. The essay showed some structure but transitions were weak and some sentences appeared disconnected from the mains points.
coherence cohesion
- Include a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main ideas of your essay. While an introduction and conclusion were present, they were not fully developed and did not clearly state your position or summarize the main arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
- Develop your main points with detailed support. While some points were made, the lack of detail and specific examples weakened the argument. Avoid general statements and ensure your arguments are substantiated with clear, relevant examples.
task achievement
- Ensure the essay fully responds to all parts of the task. The response needs to directly address the topic throughout, clearly stating your degree of agreement or disagreement and providing consistent arguments throughout the essay.
task achievement
- Develop your ideas clearly and comprehensively. It is important that your essay explores the prompt in depth and provides a nuanced perspective on the issue. Aim to expand on your ideas to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
- Use examples that are relevant and specific to support your arguments. While you have included some examples, these were somewhat general and could be further refined to better illustrate your points and enhance your argument.
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