Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people argue that teaching
children
the literature
in their own country
is more essential rather
than teaching them foreign Rephrase
apply
literature
. Nevertheless
, I partly agree with the statement for many convincing reasons.
It is extremely important for teaching children
to learn domestic literature
. If many school
teach domestic Change to a plural noun
schools
literature
for
Change preposition
to
children
, they will learn more about traditional
and historical heritage of their Add an article
the traditional
country
. To be specific, domestic literature
works
provide
more insight into Add the particle
to provide
cultural
, history, and national identity for Add an article
the cultural
children
. For
this
reason, children
have opportunity
to understand more the value of the Correct article usage
the opportunity
country
's history and traditions. Besides
, learning national literary works
could help develop children
's patriotism. Many fairy tale
, Change to a plural noun
tales
folktale
or poems could stimulate emotions and patriotism. Fix the agreement mistake
folktales
Therefore
, this
could motivative
them to participate in social activities and assist Replace the word
motivate
develop
the Wrong verb form
in developing
country
. For example
, the story of Thanh Giong assist children
know
more about how their forefather overcame challenges and Wrong verb form
in knowing
sacrifice
themselves for Vietnam. Wrong verb form
sacrificed
That is
why children
develop a sense of national identity and patriotism.
Nevertheless
, learning foreign literature
is equally important. Because learning
Correct word choice
Learning
the
Correct article usage
apply
literature
from other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
country
could expand children
’s knowledge about culture
, history and traditions of countries and stimulate creativity in students' thinking from ideas. Correct article usage
the culture
This
could enhance cultural understanding and foster cultural exchange between countries. Furthermore
, literary study also
could provide kids with linguistic knowledge and in-depth knowledge for
the Change preposition
of
literature
in the world. Thanks to studying the
foreign Correct article usage
apply
literature
that assist to give
Wrong verb form
gives
children
the opportunity to upgrade Correct pronoun usage
their languages
languages
skills of Change the noun form
language
children
.
To sum up
, learning domestic or foreign literature
both brings many benefits for children
. For these reasons, teaching national literature
works
is as extremely necessary as teaching foreign literature
works
.Submitted by khanhvu1501 on
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Introduction & Conclusion
Your essay lacks a clear introductory paragraph that presents the topic and the writer's opinion, which is crucial for the reader to understand your stance from the beginning. A properly structured conclusion is also needed to summarize your viewpoint and restate the importance of your argument.
Logical Structure
The logical structure of your essay needs improvement. Ideas should be presented in a clear and logical manner, following a format that easily guides the reader from one point to the next without confusion. Using transition words and phrases can significantly improve the flow of your essay.
Supporting Main Points
The main points are supported, but the support could be strengthened with more specific examples and a deeper analysis of each point. When providing examples, ensure they are directly related to your argument and clearly illustrate your point.
Task Response
You have addressed the task to some degree but there is room for development. Explore the topic further to show a more nuanced understanding of the subject. Greater development of your ideas with clear and specific examples will lead to a higher score.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Your ideas are generally understandable, but they lack clarity and comprehensiveness at times. Strive for precision in your language and ensure that each sentence contributes to the development of your argument.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Use precise and specific examples to support your argument. General statements do not have the same impact as well-crafted examples that are directly relevant to your argument. Each example should be carefully selected and analyzed to demonstrate your point effectively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example