IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides and give you opinion.

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People
Use synonyms
 have different views about whether the
internet
Use synonyms
's effects are useful or not.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
internet
Use synonyms
 is useful for
people
Use synonyms
's interaction, other
people
Use synonyms
 and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
people
Use synonyms
 and societies are
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 more isolated. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, the
internet
Use synonyms
 is
one
Use synonyms
 of the most
exploration
Replace the word
explored
show examples
 of
XX-XXI
Correct article usage
the XX-XXI
show examples
 centuries. The
internet
Use synonyms
 has brought
people
Use synonyms
 closer together compared to the past. Since come to the
internet
Use synonyms
 in our lives, life is changing
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the good side day by day. The
internet
Use synonyms
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
 send messages from vast distances and share experiences from
one
Use synonyms
 country to
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, If
one
Use synonyms
 person
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to speak
his
Change preposition
to his
show examples
(or her) family, he(or she)
call
Correct subject-verb agreement
calls
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
internet
Use synonyms
 apps, even
he
Correct word choice
if he
show examples
 is
Change preposition
in other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 country.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
 leads
people
Use synonyms
 to
fastering
Correct your spelling
fostering
 understanding among individuals from different cultures and backgrounds. In spite of given arguments above,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 still claim that, because of the
internet
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 and communities are
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 more isolated.
Firstly
Linking Words
, nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 are spending more time engaging with screens rather than participating in community and offline interactions.
This
Linking Words
 leads
people
Use synonyms
 to
having
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a sense of isolation. Even
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 are standing with their families
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the dinner table, they do not interact with each other,
thus
Linking Words
 families, especially parents are
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
. It has negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 children.
According to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 research, if children squander their time on social media and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
 games with isolation from friends and parents, the danger of
Alsheymer's
Correct your spelling
Alzheimer's
 disease increases
Linking Words
this children
Change the determiner
this child
these children
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
internet
Use synonyms
 has beneficial things,
such
Linking Words
 as
people
Use synonyms
 closer together, in my opinion, the
internet
Use synonyms
 leads
people
Use synonyms
 to isolate each other and community.

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. The introduction and conclusion could be improved for better coherence.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, but the response lacks depth and clarity. The main points are not fully supported with relevant examples and ideas.
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