Some people think that patents should teach children how to be good member of society. Others, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that
children
have to learn how to be
a good members
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good member
good members
show examples
of society in
school
,
while
others think that
parents
should take
this
responsibility. I would argue that the family have a key
role
in
this
situation, and
parents
are more important in shaping
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
personality.
Parents
are the very first
role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
in every
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
life
. Since the family is the first environment
Change preposition
in that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
children
exist,
parents
are typically
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
teachers
in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Whatever you do as a parent, your
children
try to do the exact thing because there is no other person around them.
For example
, if you do not
across
Correct your spelling
cross
show examples
the street at the zebra
acrossing
Correct your spelling
crossing
, your
child
would not respect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the Highway Code as well.
Additionally
, there is a strong emotional bond between
parents
and
children
that has a major influence in shaping
values
Correct article usage
the values
show examples
, beliefs, and
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
of
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
. So,
parents
have a huge
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
formative
Correct article usage
the formative
show examples
years of
children
shaping
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
generation and society. A major problem that
exist
Change the verb form
exists
show examples
in
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
influence is
limitation
Add an article
a limitation
show examples
in some perspectives and experiences.
Children
have a bunch of curious questions all the time
then
parents
could
Verb problem
are
show examples
not able to
response
Replace the word
respond
show examples
them
Change preposition
to them
show examples
in the right way.
For example
, they would like to know how they were born, or what God like
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
.
Therefore
, the house is not a well enough environment for the upbringing of
children
. It is believed that
school
has a huge
role
in shaping
children
’s
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
too.
School
is the second environment that
children
will join, and they will meet a diverse group of peers and
teachers
with different
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. The principal and
teachers
could prepare
children
to interact with different cultures and perspectives. If the education system is standard,
children
will receive a
well rounded
Add a hyphen
well-rounded
show examples
education.
For example
,
children
will extend their skills like communication, teamwork, or making
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
, which are essential in society. So,
school
is another part of every
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
life
that makes their character. Unlike
house
Add an article
a house
show examples
, the time that
children
spend in
school
is limited.
Children
would be there in specific hours, and
teachers
could not have the same level of attention that
parents
can provide.
Besides
, negative influences from peers in
school
can show the importance of
parents
.
Therefore
,
school
has some drawbacks too. In conclusion, both
school
and
parents
have a crucial
role
in
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, but
parents
play
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
major
role
in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
However
,
School
and family can complement each other in different aspects.
Submitted by m.lari9828 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs are well-organized with clear main ideas and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to maintain coherence.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task with relevant points and avoid ambiguous statements.
task achievement
Develop your main points fully with specific examples and clear explanation to support the argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to prevent errors that may hamper clear communication, such as 'patents should teach' should be 'parents should teach'.
task achievement
Work on the balance of the essay to ensure that both views and your own opinion are sufficiently developed.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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