Some people think that patents should teach children how to be good member of society. Others, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that
children
have to learn how to be a good members
of society in Correct the article-noun agreement
a good member
good members
school
, while
others think that parents
should take this
responsibility. I would argue that the family have a key role
in this
situation, and parents
are more important in shaping children
personality.
Change noun form
children's
Parents
are the very first role
model
in every Fix the agreement mistake
models
child
Change noun form
child's
life
. Since the family is the first environment Change preposition
in that
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
children
exist, parents
are typically first
Correct article usage
the first
teachers
in their life
. Whatever you do as a parent, your Fix the agreement mistake
lives
children
try to do the exact thing because there is no other person around them. For example
, if you do not across
the street at the zebra Correct your spelling
cross
acrossing
, your Correct your spelling
crossing
child
would not respect to
the Highway Code as well. Change preposition
apply
Additionally
, there is a strong emotional bond between parents
and children
that has a major influence in shaping values
, beliefs, and Correct article usage
the values
behavior
of Change the spelling
behaviour
child
. So, Add an article
the child
a child
parents
have a huge affect
Replace the word
effect
in
Change preposition
on
formative
years of Correct article usage
the formative
children
shaping next
generation and society.
A major problem that Correct article usage
the next
exist
in Change the verb form
exists
parents
influence is Change noun form
parents'
parent's
limitation
in some perspectives and experiences. Add an article
a limitation
Children
have a bunch of curious questions all the time then
parents
could
not able to Verb problem
are
response
Replace the word
respond
them
in the right way. Change preposition
to them
For example
, they would like to know how they were born, or what God like is
. Unnecessary verb
apply
Therefore
, the house is not a well enough environment for the upbringing of children
.
It is believed that school
has a huge role
in shaping children
’s behavior
too. Change the spelling
behaviour
School
is the second environment that children
will join, and they will meet a diverse group of peers and teachers
with different behaviors
. The principal and Change the spelling
behaviours
teachers
could prepare children
to interact with different cultures and perspectives. If the education system is standard, children
will receive a well rounded
education. Add a hyphen
well-rounded
For example
, children
will extend their skills like communication, teamwork, or making decision
, which are essential in society. So, Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
school
is another part of every child
Change noun form
child's
life
that makes their character.
Unlike house
, the time that Add an article
a house
children
spend in school
is limited. Children
would be there in specific hours, and teachers
could not have the same level of attention that parents
can provide. Besides
, negative influences from peers in school
can show the importance of parents
. Therefore
, school
has some drawbacks too.
In conclusion, both school
and parents
have a crucial role
in children
Change noun form
children's
life
, but Fix the agreement mistake
lives
parents
play the
major Correct article usage
a
role
in their life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
However
, School
and family can complement each other in different aspects.Submitted by m.lari9828 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs are well-organized with clear main ideas and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to maintain coherence.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task with relevant points and avoid ambiguous statements.
task achievement
Develop your main points fully with specific examples and clear explanation to support the argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to prevent errors that may hamper clear communication, such as 'patents should teach' should be 'parents should teach'.
task achievement
Work on the balance of the essay to ensure that both views and your own opinion are sufficiently developed.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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