Some people think that patents should teach children how to be good member of society. Others, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that
children
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have to learn how to be
a good members
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good member
good members
show examples
of society in
school
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,
while
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others think that
parents
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should take
this
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responsibility. I would argue that the family have a key
role
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in
this
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situation, and
parents
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are more important in shaping
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children
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children's
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personality.
Parents
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are the very first
role
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model
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models
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in every
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child
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child's
show examples
life
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. Since the family is the first environment
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in that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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children
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exist,
parents
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are typically
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
teachers
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in their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. Whatever you do as a parent, your
children
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try to do the exact thing because there is no other person around them.
For example
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, if you do not
across
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cross
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the street at the zebra
acrossing
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crossing
, your
child
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would not respect
to
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apply
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the Highway Code as well.
Additionally
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, there is a strong emotional bond between
parents
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and
children
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that has a major influence in shaping
values
Correct article usage
the values
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, beliefs, and
behavior
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behaviour
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of
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child
Add an article
the child
a child
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. So,
parents
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have a huge
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
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formative
Correct article usage
the formative
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years of
children
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shaping
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
generation and society. A major problem that
exist
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exists
show examples
in
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parents
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parents'
parent's
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influence is
limitation
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a limitation
show examples
in some perspectives and experiences.
Children
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have a bunch of curious questions all the time
then
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parents
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could
Verb problem
are
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not able to
response
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respond
show examples
them
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to them
show examples
in the right way.
For example
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, they would like to know how they were born, or what God like
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
.
Therefore
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, the house is not a well enough environment for the upbringing of
children
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. It is believed that
school
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has a huge
role
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in shaping
children
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’s
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
too.
School
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is the second environment that
children
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will join, and they will meet a diverse group of peers and
teachers
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with different
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. The principal and
teachers
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could prepare
children
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to interact with different cultures and perspectives. If the education system is standard,
children
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will receive a
well rounded
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well-rounded
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education.
For example
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,
children
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will extend their skills like communication, teamwork, or making
decision
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decisions
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, which are essential in society. So,
school
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is another part of every
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child
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child's
show examples
life
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that makes their character. Unlike
house
Add an article
a house
show examples
, the time that
children
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spend in
school
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is limited.
Children
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would be there in specific hours, and
teachers
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could not have the same level of attention that
parents
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can provide.
Besides
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, negative influences from peers in
school
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can show the importance of
parents
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.
Therefore
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,
school
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has some drawbacks too. In conclusion, both
school
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and
parents
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have a crucial
role
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in
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, but
parents
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play
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
major
role
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in their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
However
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,
School
Use synonyms
and family can complement each other in different aspects.
Submitted by m.lari9828 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs are well-organized with clear main ideas and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to maintain coherence.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task with relevant points and avoid ambiguous statements.
task achievement
Develop your main points fully with specific examples and clear explanation to support the argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to prevent errors that may hamper clear communication, such as 'patents should teach' should be 'parents should teach'.
task achievement
Work on the balance of the essay to ensure that both views and your own opinion are sufficiently developed.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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