IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Nowadays many students are participating in international exchange trips. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#students #exchange #trips #development
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This
 line graph
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 us the changes in the count and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers.It is clear from the graph that there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 two types of food
Correct pronoun usage
that increase
show examples
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 respectively over the
years
 and the third one
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped over the
years
.
According to
 what is shown, The number of
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
eaten
Change the form of the verb
eating
show examples
 pizza and
humbergers
Correct your spelling
hamburgers
 consistently increased. The pizza was about 10 to about 85 from 1975 to 2000.
Also
, The
humbergers
Correct your spelling
hamburgers
 were about 20 to 100
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same
years
.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the fish and chips meal take the
oppesite
Correct your spelling
opposite
 side. The number of people
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
 fish and chips dropped
around
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the
years
. It was 100 in 1975.
Then
 the number
disincrease
Correct your spelling
decreased
 to
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
 about 38 in 2000.
To sum up
, we could say that the consumption of junk food by Australian teenagers
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 extremely different
by
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the
years
. The per of what they
eaten
Add the auxiliary verb
ate
have eaten
show examples
 in the past
did
Verb problem
was
show examples
 not
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
what
Change preposition
as what
show examples
is
Verb problem
it was
show examples
 in 2000.
Submitted by Saraalhajri20121998 on

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task response
The information provided is incomplete and does not fully address the given topic related to students participating in international exchange trips. There is a mismatch between the essay content and the topic requirement.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a weak structure, lacking clear introduction and conclusion specific to the given topic of international exchange trips. Furthermore, the text discusses fast food consumption, which is unrelated to the original question.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a logical flow of ideas and does not develop a coherent argument about the impact of student exchange trips, instead discussing an unrelated subject of fast food consumption.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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