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Writing Samples
Band 6

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology is now replacing their functions. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays,
technology
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 is present in all of our lives, playing an important part in them.
However
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, we shouldn'
t
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 depend on it, as it is extremely unhealthy for our minds and bodies . I think the abolishment of public institutions,
such
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 as
libraries
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, in favour of
computer
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technology
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, represents a big disadvantage for our society.
Firstly
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, public
libraries
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 are
benefic
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beneficial
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 for studying. Every day, plenty of young people spend their time there, learning for upcoming exams.
Libraries
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 are known for their quiet atmosphere, which helps us focus and relax. If those institutions are closed, we wouldn'
t
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 have a
quite
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quiet
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 place
that is
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 beneficial for studying.
For example
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, I prefer going to public
libraries
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 to work on my projects and assignments, because I am motivated by other people doing their work here. If I stood at home, I would probably waste my time doing anything, but my work.
Secondly
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, using public
libraries
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 is healthier than using
computer
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technology
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. In many situations, we spend too much time in front of a screen, which affects our eyes. After using their
computer
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, the majority of people have a terrible headache and feel exhausted. We do not realise it, but
technology
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 is destroying us slowly, and if we don'
t
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 do anything about
this
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, we will have serious health problems. Public
libraries
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,
however
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, are not harmful in any way. There, we read physical books and articles, without putting us in danger.
For instance
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, a study
made
Verb problem
apply
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recently showed how dangerous reading books online is. Not only does it affect our vision, but it
also
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 makes us dependent
to
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on
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technology
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. Experts recommend going to bookstores and
libraries
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 to read books, as it doesn'
t
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 harm our health. In conclusion,
computer
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technology
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 is important, but it shouldn'
t
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 replace public
libraries
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. These institutions help us study, without having other distractions, and they do not have a negative impact on our health, like
technology
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 does.

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task achievement
Regarding task achievement, ensure that you address both sides of the argument to some extent to show that you have considered the opposing viewpoint. Your essay should also include a clear opinion which directly responds to the essay prompt. Provide more detailed examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, work on connecting your ideas more smoothly and logically. Use a wider range of linking devices to improve cohesion. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that supporting sentences are fully developed. Remember to proofread your essay to avoid careless errors which can affect the readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of books
  • promoting literacy
  • community engagement
  • equal access to information
  • digital divide
  • accessibility issues
  • personalized assistance
  • educational programs
  • cultural events
  • safe spaces
  • community meetings
  • tactile experience
  • preserving historical documents
  • important cultural repositories
  • fostering a sense of community
  • communal hubs
  • serene and focused environment
  • conducive to study and reflection
  • irreplaceable value
  • distracted environment
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