Many governments spend a lot of money on art. Some people think this investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The problem of spending a lot of
money
on art and other people
say spending money
on health
and education could be precious which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people
claiming that this
is beneficial whereas
others reject this
notion. The substantial influence of this
trend
has sparked controversy over its potential impact in recent years. This
essay will further
elaborate on both positive effects of this
trend
and thus
will lead to a logical solution.
Myriad reasons will further
explain this
argument but the most preponderant one
stems from the fact that the administration as well as
people
thinks that investment in art is necessary because it helps visitors to get ideas from art exhibitions and they can start their businesses. Another pivotal aspect of this
argument is that people
can spend their quality time. Needless, to say, all these merits stand in a
good stead.
Remove the article
apply
However
, some pitfalls negate these and which can certainly overwhelm the potential influence of this
trend
but one
of the most alarming ones is that the government should spend money
on education so illiterate children and people
can get more knowledge. This
helps them to get educated and they can get a perfect job. Besides
, money
is spent on improving health
, in charities, providing fundraising, and making donation camps. This
will provide people
with better health
as well as
get nutritious meals to get fitter. Hence
, it is apparent why many are against this
trend
.
According to
the arguments aforementioned above one
can conclude that the benefits of improving health
and education are instrumentally needed. Nevertheless
, its potential drawbacks should not be overlooked Change preposition
in either
either
Change preposition
in either
one sided
essay.Add a hyphen
one-sided
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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph should serve a distinct purpose, with the first introducing the topic and your thesis statement, and the final paragraph summarizing your points and restating your position. Both are essential to guide the reader through your argument and to properly frame your discussion.
logical structure
The overall structure of the essay is difficult to follow. Your ideas should be organized into clear, well-structured paragraphs, each one focused on a single main idea. Transitions between ideas should be smooth and logical progression from one to the next is crucial for the reader to follow your argument.
supported main points
The supporting arguments are not fully developed, as there is a lack of specific examples and evidence to back up the claims made. To enhance your main points, include concrete examples, data, or citations that provide support and add credibility to your arguments.
complete response
The essay does not adequately address all parts of the task. Make sure to discuss both views mentioned in the prompt as well as give your own opinion, ensuring a balanced and complete response to the question.
clear comprehensive ideas
The development of your ideas is quite unclear and not comprehensive, making it difficult for the reader to understand the depth of your argument. Focus on expanding your ideas more thoroughly, providing deeper analysis and explanation to illustrate your points effectively.
relevant specific examples
Your essay lacks specific, relevant examples that are necessary for strengthening your arguments. Make sure to include detailed instances or case studies that relate directly to the questions being discussed, enhancing the persuasive power of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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