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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

What is the pros and cons for children of watching TV?

#children #tv
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Nowadays, watching
TV
 is the most important part of our life expectancy.
As a result
, a great deal of
children
 are fond of watching cartoons
or
Correct word choice
and
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 more adults are wasting their free time on
TV
. There are both advantages and disadvantages.
And in
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In
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this
 essay, I am going to
explane
Correct your spelling
explain
how
Rephrase
apply
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kind
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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 and drawbacks
from
Change preposition
of
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 television. Let’s begin by looking at the advantages of using a television. One of the main
positive
Change to a plural noun
positives
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 of using
TV
 is that it can help young
children
 to learn new things easier.
The social
Correct article usage
Social
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 life is
showed
Change the form of the verb
shown
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 more effectively and clearly by new and effective ways of
explorations
Fix the agreement mistake
exploration
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.
Moreover
, another advantage of using
TV
 for
children
’s education is attraction.
For example
, learning a new language is more plain sailing and interesting for
children
 on
TV
. New methods
, is
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apply
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explained
Wrong verb form
explain
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 any topic,
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and allowed
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allowed
Wrong verb form
allow
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 people to involve their
children
 in the educational process. Turning to the other side of the contention, overusing
TV
 is a serious problem.
Children
tent
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tend
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 to watch
TV
 more than time can be
allowe
Correct your spelling
allowed
the
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apply
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damage their health. The level of eyesight decreases. One of the biggest disadvantages of
TV
 is
contant
Correct your spelling
content
 that there are more
contents
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content
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 and the
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 bad information that IT has
a
Change the article
an
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 alien culture and bad habits can influence
on
Change preposition
apply
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children
’s behaviour. All things considered,
Submitted by jalolbekjon09 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a more logical structure. Ideas should flow naturally from one to the next, with clear paragraphing and use of cohesive devices.
task achievement
An introduction and conclusion are essential for a complete essay. Your conclusion was cut off and incomplete which affects the overall completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and clear explanations to strengthen your argument and clarify your position on the topic. Be sure to develop each point adequately before moving on to the next.
task achievement
Ensure that you provide a complete response to the prompt. The essay should cover all aspects of the question and reach a logical conclusion. Incomplete essays cannot achieve a high score.
coherence cohesion
Use correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar throughout your essay. This helps maintain clarity and a professional tone, which are crucial for a higher score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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