In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weighs are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?
The decrease in health and fitness levels and the increase in average weight in some countries become troubles that should be overcome.
Moreover
, some main causes that I believe affect the issues, namely lack of fitness awareness and easy-to-get junk foods. However
, some solutions offered can tackle the problems.
Lack of health awareness is the first cause since people in some areas nowadays have no intention of knowing how important keeping in shape is. They do not pay attention to managing exercise to stay healthy. Second,
easy to get junk foods, which is still linked with the previous. With hectic lives, a workaholic person prefers to eat foodstuff easy to get rather than to cook healthy food, and the one that is
mentioned is fast food which is mostly unhealthy to consume. For instance
, people will not envisage going to a gym or having exercise as a need since they just spend their whole time working/studying area. Instead
, they consume cuisines and do not filter which one will harm them. As a result
, without a balance of nutrition in meals and exercise to burn calories, they will gradually become obese.
However
, to tackle the issues, there are very first quick fix
adopted. Fix the agreement mistake
fixes
firstly
, the authorities can socialize not only adult but also
young ages in schools that health is a pivotal thing that should be kept; in order to get fit, the juveniles can join some sports activities that are provided in schools, so they can balance their body to not overweight. Another solution, as individuals, we should start to prevent eating fast food and move to consume healthier foods for ourselves and socialize with our relatives to do the same.
To conclude
, dealing with problems can start with individuals taking action and sharing the good things with their relatives about how important well-being is. If the very first solutions were adopted, I believe that would overcome the troubles.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion. Your essay contains both, but they could be more concise and clearly delineate the essay's main arguments and summarizing thoughts.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more focused and elaborated examples. The essay refers to general situations without detailed examples or evidence to illustrate them fully.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task equally. While you have discussed the causes and solutions, ensure you spend equal time on each and fully explore each point with clear, developed explanations.
task achievement
Develop ideas comprehensively. Some of your ideas are introduced but not explored in depth. Expanding on these ideas with further explanation or examples could provide a clearer and more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to support your views. While you do mention general examples, incorporating relevant and specific real-world examples could strengthen the essay's arguments and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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