In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weighs are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?

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The decrease in health and fitness levels and the increase in average weight in some countries become troubles that should be overcome.

Moreover

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, some main causes that I believe affect the issues, namely lack of fitness awareness and easy-to-get junk foods.

However

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, some solutions offered can tackle the problems. Lack of health awareness is the first cause since people in some areas nowadays have no intention of knowing how important keeping in shape is. They do not pay attention to managing exercise to stay healthy.

Second,

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easy to get junk foods, which is still linked with the previous. With hectic lives, a workaholic person prefers to eat foodstuff easy to get rather than to cook healthy food, and the one

that is

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mentioned is fast food which is mostly unhealthy to consume.

For instance

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, people will not envisage going to a gym or having exercise as a need since they just spend their whole time working/studying area.

Instead

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, they consume cuisines and do not filter which one will harm them.

As a result

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, without a balance of nutrition in meals and exercise to burn calories, they will gradually become obese.

However

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, to tackle the issues, there are very first quick

fix

Fix the agreement mistake

fixes

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adopted.

firstly

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, the authorities can socialize not only adult but

also

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young ages in schools that health is a pivotal thing that should be kept; in order to get fit, the juveniles can join some sports activities that are provided in schools, so they can balance their body to not overweight. Another solution, as individuals, we should start to prevent eating fast food and move to consume healthier foods for ourselves and socialize with our relatives to do the same.

To conclude

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, dealing with problems can start with individuals taking action and sharing the good things with their relatives about how important well-being is. If the very first solutions were adopted, I believe that would overcome the troubles.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Fri Dec 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure logical progression of ideas. Though your essay has distinct paragraphs, some ideas could be better connected and transitions between them smoothed. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Include a clear introduction and conclusion. Your essay contains both, but they could be more concise and clearly delineate the essay's main arguments and summarizing thoughts.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more focused and elaborated examples. The essay refers to general situations without detailed examples or evidence to illustrate them fully.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task equally. While you have discussed the causes and solutions, ensure you spend equal time on each and fully explore each point with clear, developed explanations.

task achievement

Develop ideas comprehensively. Some of your ideas are introduced but not explored in depth. Expanding on these ideas with further explanation or examples could provide a clearer and more comprehensive response.

task achievement

Use relevant, specific examples to support your views. While you do mention general examples, incorporating relevant and specific real-world examples could strengthen the essay's arguments and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weighs are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, the tradition of having family meals together is disappearing. Why is this happening? What will the effects of this be on the family and society

Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your opinion?

Million of dollars are spent on space every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe in the proverb that where there is a will, there is a way. They think that if the desire is strong enough, they can achieve anything. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this belief?

numerous animal species worldwide are currently facing extinction. Some argue that countries and individuals should prioritize protecting these animals, while others believe resources should be focused more on human issues. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.