IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Movies with spectacular car chases are a thrill to watch and fun too but they have led to an increase in car accidents on urban roads. Do you agree? What do you think can be done to make the youth more aware of road safety?

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The given pie charts illustrate five different major sources namely : oil natural gas coal hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 in 1980and1990
It is clear that
Linking Words
 Oil is
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 type of
power
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 in
a
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apply
show examples
both
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 Other sources
differently
Add a missing verb
are differently
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 divided and hydroelectric
powerand
Correct your spelling
power and
 coal
used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
 the lowest
amount
Use synonyms
 in the USA 🇺🇸 In
a
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apply
show examples
both
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 oil showed
significantly
Add an article
the significantly
show examples
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
amount
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 of using
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 42% and 33%. The
amount
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 of natural gas in the US ranked second with about
quarter
Correct article usage
a quarter
show examples
 In 1980 the 🇺🇸 used 22 percent
coal
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of coal
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
power
Use synonyms
 generation
By contrast
Linking Words
 The usage of coal slightly increased by 5% percent.27% In detail Hydroelectric
power
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 did not
changed
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change
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 in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both year It showed the lowest
amount
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 of
power
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5percent
Change preposition
at 5percent
show examples
In contrast
Linking Words
 Nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 twice increased from 5%to 10% #Dilshodbek #day8 #task1

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Introduction and Conclusion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are essential for a coherent IELTS Writing Task 1 response. Work on providing a distinct opening and closing sentence that summarizes the main trends.
Logical Structure
Ensure that there is a logical flow to the presentation of information. When comparing data, it's crucial to organize your thoughts in a way that is easy for the reader to follow, ideally grouping similar information together or following a chronological order where appropriate.
Supported Main Points
Develop your main points by providing a more in-depth analysis of the data. Include comparisons, percentages, and any significant changes observed. Avoid presenting the data in isolated chunks; instead, try to connect the dots and explain why certain changes might have occurred or what might be inferred from the data.
Complete Response
The response does not fully address the requirements of the task. To improve your task achievement score, focus on covering all aspects of the task, ensuring you provide an analysis of the data, a summary, and a clear overall trend.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Work on clarifying your ideas. In an IELTS Task 1 essay, it's important to present information clearly and concisely. Avoid using ambiguous language, and instead use precise vocabulary to accurately describe the data.
Relevant Specific Examples
Incorporate relevant examples from the data to support your analysis. Use specific details such as percentages and comparisons to illustrate the points you are making. This will help to substantiate your description and provide a clearer picture of the information presented in the charts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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