It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and joining universities. What are the advantages or disadvantages?

Every
student
has a
year
off between finishing
school
and joining
universities
. It is becoming increasingly popular than
previous
Change preposition
in previous
show examples
years
. It has some
advantages
& disadvantages and which are different from
student
to
student
due to
their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
and procedures. In
this
part
Add a comma
part,
show examples
I would like to talk about
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
of taking a
year
off between finishing
school
and joining
universities
. The
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
of that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
,
every
Correct word choice
that every
show examples
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
to go to
school
around
Change preposition
for around
show examples
12
years
from their
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
. after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
12
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
they need to join to university
to
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for
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
further
education
. After
joined
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joining
show examples
with university they have to
spent
Change the verb
spend
show examples
more than 3
years
to complete their degree. So
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
can take a rest between
this
year
off period.
Peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
People
show examples
can visit anywhere to
took
Change the form of the verb
take
show examples
rest
Correct article usage
a rest
show examples
and avoid
their
Change the word
the
show examples
mental pressure of 12
years
of
school
life. Another advantage is
student
can give their attention to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
some small
courses
, which helps to get
advantage
Add an article
an advantage
the advantage
show examples
in their
further
education
like in
Correct article usage
a bachelors
show examples
bachelors
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bachelor's
show examples
or in
master
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master's
show examples
program.
As
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In
show examples
my view
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
can join with language short
courses
, MS
office
Capitalize word
Office
show examples
program
courses
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
graphic design
courses
etc..
This
is very
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
for their
education
and it
convert
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converts
show examples
to their skills and they can earn
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
through the program. When we are talking about
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
of taking a
year
off between finishing
school
and joining
universities
, which are some
students
applied
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
for part-time jobs or full-time jobs. So, if they agreed to with under contract with their employees, they didn't move back to their
further
education
. They are continuing their life with that job and
students
have to stop
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
education
temporary
Change the word
temporarily
show examples
or
permanetly
Correct your spelling
permanently
.
Peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
People
show examples
can't understand the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
in
this
time period. They are suffering
about
Change preposition
from
show examples
their decision after
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time.
Then
they can't
revised
Change the verb form
revise
show examples
anything.
Change preposition
In
show examples
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
my view, I think there are
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
of
advantages
Change preposition
to taking
show examples
taking
Change preposition
to taking
show examples
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
off
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
year
period between finishing
school
and joining
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
. If
school
teachers can explain
Correct article usage
the important
show examples
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
of a taking
one
Add a hyphen
one-year
show examples
year
vacation between their
school
life and before
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
, every
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
can complete their
further
education
without any interruptions.
Submitted by lahiruraja97 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay contains a very rudimentary structure in terms of coherence and cohesion. It lacks a clear introductory paragraph that clearly sets out the question being addressed and the stance being taken. The conclusion is also not clearly defined. Paragraphs are not well-constructed, with ideas sometimes lacking logical development. To improve, the writer needs to develop a clear introduction, followed by logically structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences that correlate to the central thesis, and finish with a conclusive paragraph that summarises the discussion and reiterates the writer's position.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, mentioning both advantages and disadvantages, but it does not entirely fulfil the prompt as it does not offer a well-balanced discussion of the topic. The conclusion seems to indicate a personal opinion, but it is not well-supported throughout the essay. More comprehensive ideas and clear arguments need to be presented to enhance clarity. Including relevant examples would have strengthened the response and provided clearer evidence for the points made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal growth
  • academic performance
  • career exploration
  • cultural exposure
  • academic momentum
  • financial implications
  • peer separation
  • higher education
  • maturity
  • independence
  • self-understanding
  • reinvigorate
  • career paths
  • internships
  • globalized
  • structured learning
  • study habits
  • earning potential
  • social integration
  • non-academic
What to do next:
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