It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and joining universities. What are the advantages or disadvantages?
Every
student
has a year
off between finishing school
and joining universities
. It is becoming increasingly popular than previous
Change preposition
in previous
years
. It has some advantages
& disadvantages and which are different from student
to student
due to
their works
and procedures.
In Fix the agreement mistake
work
this
part
I would like to talk about Add a comma
part,
advantages
of taking a Correct article usage
the advantages
year
off between finishing school
and joining universities
. The advantages
of that Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
are
, Correct subject-verb agreement
is
every
Correct word choice
that every
students
Change to a singular noun
student
have
to go to Correct subject-verb agreement
has
school
around
12 Change preposition
for around
years
from their begining
. after Correct your spelling
beginning
the
12 Correct article usage
apply
years
they need to join to university Add a comma
years,
to
Change preposition
for
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
further
education
. After joined
with university they have to Change the form of the verb
joining
spent
more than 3 Change the verb
spend
years
to complete their degree. So student
can take a rest between Fix the agreement mistake
students
this
year
off period. Peoples
can visit anywhere to Fix the agreement mistake
People
took
Change the form of the verb
take
rest
and avoid Correct article usage
a rest
their
mental pressure of 12 Change the word
the
years
of school
life. Another advantage is student
can give their attention to do
some small Unnecessary verb
apply
courses
, which helps to get advantage
in their Add an article
an advantage
the advantage
further
education
like in Correct article usage
a bachelors
bachelors
or in Change noun form
bachelor's
master
program. Change noun form
master's
As
my view Change preposition
In
student
can join with language short Fix the agreement mistake
students
courses
, MS office
program Capitalize word
Office
courses
and
graphic design Correct word choice
apply
courses
etc.. This
is very helpfull
for their Correct your spelling
helpful
education
and it convert
to their skills and they can earn Change the verb form
converts
it
through the program.
When we are talking about Correct pronoun usage
apply
disadvantages
of taking a Correct article usage
the disadvantages
year
off between finishing school
and joining universities
, which are some students
applied
for part-time jobs or full-time jobs. So, if they agreed to with under contract with their employees, they didn't move back to their Wrong verb form
apply
further
education
. They are continuing their life with that job and students
have to stop to
their Change preposition
apply
education
temporary
or Change the word
temporarily
permanetly
. Correct your spelling
permanently
Peoples
can't understand the Fix the agreement mistake
People
important
of Replace the word
importance
the
Correct article usage
apply
education
in this
time period. They are suffering about
their decision after Change preposition
from
long
time. Change the article
a long
Then
they can't revised
anything.
Change the verb form
revise
Change preposition
In
As
my view, I think there are Change preposition
In
Correct article usage
a lot
lot
of Correct article usage
a lot
advantages
Change preposition
to taking
taking
Change preposition
to taking
a
Correct article usage
an
off
Correct word choice
apply
year
period between finishing school
and joining Fix the agreement mistake
university
universities
. If Fix the agreement mistake
university
school
teachers can explain Correct article usage
the important
important
of a taking Replace the word
importance
one
Add a hyphen
one-year
year
vacation between their school
life and before the
Correct article usage
apply
universities
, every Fix the agreement mistake
university
students
can complete their Change to a singular noun
student
further
education
without any interruptions.Submitted by lahiruraja97 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay contains a very rudimentary structure in terms of coherence and cohesion. It lacks a clear introductory paragraph that clearly sets out the question being addressed and the stance being taken. The conclusion is also not clearly defined. Paragraphs are not well-constructed, with ideas sometimes lacking logical development. To improve, the writer needs to develop a clear introduction, followed by logically structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences that correlate to the central thesis, and finish with a conclusive paragraph that summarises the discussion and reiterates the writer's position.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, mentioning both advantages and disadvantages, but it does not entirely fulfil the prompt as it does not offer a well-balanced discussion of the topic. The conclusion seems to indicate a personal opinion, but it is not well-supported throughout the essay. More comprehensive ideas and clear arguments need to be presented to enhance clarity. Including relevant examples would have strengthened the response and provided clearer evidence for the points made.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.