You have learned from a news article that a real estate company is going to build a shopping centre near your home. However, you think that the shopping centre should not be built there. Write a letter to the city counsellor. In your letter, say how you have learned about the plan explain how it is going to negatively affect the residential area where you live say what you think the city council should do about it
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is Hitesh Dawar, I am a resident of Lajpat Nagar, Jalandhar. I came across
to
recent news about building a shopping Change preposition
apply
mall
in our residential area
. However
, I would like to draw your attention towards the impact of this
building afterwards.
Last
Sunday, I read an article in newspaper
about the plan to build a Add an article
the newspaper
a newspaper
mall
in our area
by a real estate agent, later I explored it further
online with the company website and found the detailed plan, structure, and
parking space etc. Correct word choice
apply
However
, after getting all the details online, I also
visited city
council office to get authentic information related to the Correct article usage
the city
project
.
After all my research about the project
, I found this
as
unsuitable place with many issues related to the Correct your spelling
an
project
. The major concern is the overall
space, as the area
is already heavily crowded and this
mall
will draw more private and commercial vehicles. Additionally
, there is no adequate parking lot available within the plan of mall
or nearby Add an article
a mall
the mall
area
. Consequently
, there will be heavy daily jams and huge hassle and bustle for the local people.
I advise you to rethink and stop this
construction and shift the project
to a better area
with ample of
space and parking available. I hope you will take appropriate action at the earliest.
I would really appreciate your prompt decision and would like to thank you on behalf of the society.
Yours Sincerely,
Hitesh DawarChange preposition
apply
Submitted by hiteshpaul on
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coherence cohesion
While the letter has a clear logical structure, with identifiable paragraphs, the flow between the ideas could be improved by better use of connecting words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Opening and closing the letter is done suitably, but ensure that the sign off matches the level of formality in the greeting. As you addressed the counselor as 'Sir or Madam', your closing salutation should be equally formal. 'Yours sincerely' is acceptable but 'Yours faithfully' could be more appropriate when the name is not known.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea effectively, however more complex sentence structures and a range of cohesive devices should be used to link your ideas together for better readability.
task achievement
The response addresses all parts of the task; however, it would benefit from more detailed explanations and possibly examples to support the arguments against the shopping center construction.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and mostly formal. To maintain a consistently formal tone throughout, avoid the usage of contractions such as 'I am' instead of 'I'm' and 'it's' instead of 'it is'. Additionally, focus on using a range of formal expressions and vocabulary that are suitable for a letter to an authority figure.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.