IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
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There is no denying the fact that many
people
Use synonyms
 have the freedom to choose what they wander.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that these days, nations have various options in their lives. In my opinion, I consider as
technology
Use synonyms
 continues the advance
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 options for
people
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with, ancient
people
Use synonyms
 used to work many hours and weeks just to complete their job.
In other words
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, photographers in the past
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 had to use various instruments and liquids for making only one picture.
In addition
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, farmers spent days,
weeks
Correct word choice
and weeks
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for
Change preposition
to
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 harvest their crops which was considered a tough job.
For example
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, as time goes on, many instruments and tools have been
create
Change the verb form
creating
created
show examples
,
such
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 as trucks to help farmers,
digital
Correct word choice
and digital
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camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
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 to photographers
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 pictures easily. Another point to consider,
with
Correct word choice
that
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 desire to enhance the world and solve problems which
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
innovation
Replace the word
innovative
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 thinking among
people
Use synonyms
. It is possible to say that, many jobs were created
due to
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 the
technology
Use synonyms
 development.
Moreover
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, by implementing these ideas,
people
Use synonyms
 have seen various jobs leading to enhance their countries.
For instance
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, nowadays, we witnessed a huge development of
technology
Use synonyms
 to do
a hard jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a hard job
hard jobs
show examples
instead
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 of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 like AI and machine learning which have
super computers
Correct your spelling
supercomputers
show examples
 to calculate probabilities and understand
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real life. In conclusion, despite
people
Use synonyms
 having different views, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 helps us to live
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 live, and have various options to choose
Submitted by abdullazizalajlan.m on

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structure
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion. The introduction should clearly address the question and present your viewpoint.
development
Use distinct body paragraphs for each main point, and ensure they are well-developed with supporting explanations and examples.
conclusion
The conclusion should effectively summarise the main points and reiterate your position without introducing new information.
coherence
Maintain a logical flow of ideas and use cohesive devices appropriately to connect sentences and paragraphs.
language
Use a wide range of vocabulary and grammatical structures to clearly express ideas and avoid overgeneralisations.
task response
Address all parts of the task and provide a clear, relevant response to the prompt with appropriately extended ideas supported by examples.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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