It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What the adventages and disadventages of this ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Leave a
year
from
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
center is one of
going
Verb problem
apply
show examples
up
activities
for spending
time
. Individuals who are studying are significantly
rosely
Correct your spelling
more
popular to vacation a
year
off from finishing
school
and going to university. All in all,
this
essay will
proved
Verb problem
provide
show examples
information about the
prons
Correct your spelling
pros
show examples
and cons
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
related to the issue
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
spending one
year
for searching
money
and improving
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
.
According to
the
searching
Replace the word
search
show examples
money
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
from
lowest
Add an article
the lowest
show examples
financial background
are
Verb problem
can
show examples
more afford to
doing
Change the verb form
do
show examples
extra
activities
to get income
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
support
daily
Correct pronoun usage
their daily
show examples
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
.
Moreover
, they should have
time
and space for doing
another
Replace the adjective
another activity
other activities
show examples
activities
outside
study
Change preposition
of study
show examples
activities
.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kompas news found that between 2020 to 2023, the
students
Correct quantifier usage
number of students
show examples
at senior
hight
Correct your spelling
high
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
in Jakarta rose significantly
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
40% to 75% to
leaving
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
school
for searching extra
money
.
Thus
, the one reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
leave
Fix the infinitive
to leave
show examples
school
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
economy
Add a verb
economy is
economy was
show examples
backgraound
Correct your spelling
background
. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
improving
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
knowledge, the student who
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
more
time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
improving
Correct pronoun usage
their knowlegde
show examples
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more extra improving their self with
another new skills
Replace the adjective
another new skill
other new skills
show examples
.
Furthermore
, the
person's
Change noun form
person
show examples
will spend
money
and
time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying more in another learning
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
For instance
, the papuan
student's
Change noun form
students
show examples
spend nine months for preparing IELTS for study
aboard
Rephrase
abroad
show examples
. In sum, the
person's
Change noun form
person
show examples
is spending
time
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
improving
Correct pronoun usage
their knowlegde
his knowlegde
her knowlegde
show examples
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
. In conclusion, individuals becoming
rosely
Correct your spelling
increasingly
popular to have a
year
off
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
of searching
money
Change preposition
for money
show examples
and improving
another skills
Replace the adjective
another skill
other skills
show examples
.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure. Make sure to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Use linking words to create a smooth flow between points.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be developed further. The introduction should paraphrase the question and present a thesis statement outlining the main points of the essay. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your thesis in a different way.
coherence cohesion
While you do offer some support for your main points, the supports are not fully relevant or convincing. Make sure to provide clear explanations and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The essay does not entirely answer the task as it lacks a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages. Make sure to address all parts of the task, and clearly state your position if the question asks for it.
task achievement
Your ideas are somewhat clear, but they are not comprehensive. To improve, expand upon the points you're making by explaining them more fully and providing more detailed examples to back them up.
task achievement
The examples used are relevant, although there are few and they lack specificity. Whenever you mention a fact or figure, such as the statistics from 'kompas news', ensure accuracy and relevance. Providing specific examples can enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: