In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.

#world #life #expectancy #individuals #society #measures #impact #populations

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it is widely believed that average

life

expectancy affects the community and residents. The aim of

this

essay is to discuss the issue that can be caused by average lifespan and from that, some viable solutions could be taken into account to tackle the situation. It is possibly said that there certainly are reasons behind

this

trend. One of the most obvious problems is the elderly may put a heavy burden on the state's healthcare structure because of their reduced immune systems.

As a result

, they are vulnerable to chronic diseases that require special medical treatment and need a large sum of national budgets. Another alarming factor leading to

this

situation is the money for the elderly investment

such

as medical care or homecare

instead

of other fields which they won't have enough money to invest

other

Change preposition

in other

show examples

commodities.

As a consequence

, economic growth and

overall

quality of

life

will be hurt which puts pressure on the next generation.

However

, there are various measures that governments could take to mitigate the issue. One solution to

this

problem is the contribution of the government budget for welfare and social benefits. The government can promote the quality of elderly

life

by holding programs for the elderly or increasing the pension. Through

this

site, the elderly can get more merits from earning money and get rid of the risk of the unemployment rate. One more viable measure is the encouragement of youngsters who dedicate the potential foundation for the country. Governments should allocate increased resources to the education and healthcare of

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation.

This

strategic investment not only alleviates the financial burden on parents but

also

enhances the productivity of the emerging workforce . In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

medical care and other

welfares

Fix the agreement mistake

welfare

show examples

for the elderly are the main problems of average

life

expectancy which affects society. In the future, if the above-mentioned measures are taken, the situation will be improved significantly

Submitted by cdiemquynh009 on Wed Dec 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good. However, you can further improve the logical flow by using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring smoother transitions between your ideas.

task achievement

You have addressed the task and provided some relevant ideas and examples, but there is room for more detailed development and exploration of these points. Additionally, providing more specific examples could help to enhance the clarity and relevance of your response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

average life expectancy
developed world
increase
individuals
society
personal goals
ambitions
quality of life
leisure
recreation
healthcare costs
challenges
healthcare system
ageing population
shortage
available workers
economy
retirement planning
healthy lifestyles
investing
social support systems

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In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is sometimes suggested that primary school children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Do you think advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage?

Some people prefer to travel around town by car, while others prefer public transit such as bus, train, or subway. Discuss both these positions and give your own opinion.

Some think dangerous extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.