IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extend do you agree or disgree with this stagement.

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As a social being, human is provided with
Correct article usage
a numbers
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numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of opportunities in
life
Use synonyms
. Some people
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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 that the provided
options
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 are sometimes too many,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 ambiguity in the paths they have
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
.
However
Linking Words
, I personally disagree with the notion. I believe that a person deserves to have as many choices as possible to ensure his flexibility in
life
Use synonyms
, especially with some challenges from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology innovation. The freedom to choose any
aspects
Fix the agreement mistake
aspect
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in
Change preposition
of
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life
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 should be available
for
Change preposition
to
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 humans. Since there are changes
happen
Correct pronoun usage
that happen
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, whether it is
intentionally
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intentional
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 or not, people need more flexibility to adjust and adapt in any situation.
For example
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,
while
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 many employees lost their jobs during
pandemic
Add an article
a pandemic
the pandemic
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, the more chances in altering their professional pathways, the better their economic situation would be.
Therefore
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, there will never be too many
options
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 for people, even in the current days. The changes that
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
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 nowadays,
moreover
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, make the opportunities become limited. The increasing number of population impacts to stronger competition, especially in developed countries.
For instance
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, freshly
graduate
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graduated
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 students found it difficult to find a job in certain areas
in
Change preposition
of
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 the United States. To make things worse,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technological inventions
such
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 as Artificial Intelligence (AI), replace some roles that have been done by humans, namely researcher and teacher.
This
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 condition affects
on
Change preposition
apply
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the limited resources for workers. To summarise,
while
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 some said that men have more pathways to choose, the situation does not agree with the statement. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 never too many
options
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 since
Correct article usage
a human's
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human's
Change noun form
human
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life
Use synonyms
 always needs adjustments
due to
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 some circumstances.
Furthermore
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, because of innovations and
over populations
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
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,
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hence
Rephrase
apply
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the
options
Use synonyms
 are becoming less than in the old days.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure your essay presents a clear logical structure. Organize your paragraphs well and use cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction sets the context and clearly outlines your position. The conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. General statements should be minimized, and clear examples should be provided to enhance the argument.
Task Achievement
Address the task fully. Ensure all parts of the prompt are answered, and your position is clear throughout the essay. Expand on your ideas to cover the topic comprehensively.
Task Achievement
Use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to clearly express your ideas. Aim for a balanced argument with relevant examples to support each point you make.
Task Achievement
Make sure every example and idea you include is directly relevant to the task question. Avoid deviating from the topic to maintain a focused argument.
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