The average age for individuals to give birth is increasing. Some people think that it will have negative impact on family and country. What is your opinion about this?
this
essay strongly agree that Correct your spelling
experiencing
experinceing
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experiencing
a
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apply
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in Correct your spelling
parenthood
lateages
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late ages
lineages
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some negative Remove the article
apply
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aspects
aspeacts
on Correct your spelling
effects
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families
familes
and Correct your spelling
families
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country
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the contry
contry
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country
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linked to Replace the word
it's
it is
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number Add an article
a higher
on
children born with health condition among old age mothers Change preposition
of
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been physically fit to provide the Correct your spelling
necessary
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care for them
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necessary
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young
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young
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at the Correct your spelling
couples
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of Correct your spelling
beginning
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life may agree to delay having a child in order to secure a better employee state or for other personal Correct your spelling
their
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reasons
resonase
anyhow,by the time they start Correct your spelling
reasons
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journey
journy
some ladies may Correct your spelling
journey
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experience
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experience
pragnancy
period or Correct your spelling
pregnancy
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health issues that Correct your spelling
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have passed to her unborn baby which in some time ended up Correct your spelling
could
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them to have a lifetime health condition or some kind of disability that could have been Correct your spelling
costing
avoidid
in most cases if the Correct your spelling
avoided
the
parents Remove the redundancy
apply
has
decided to have some Change the verb form
have
helth
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health
check up
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check-up
erliar
, Correct your spelling
earlier
for
example
some studies Add the comma(s)
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has
shown that the older the mother the higher the Change the verb form
have
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health
on the other
hand
ageing is a part of life that no one can`t stop people start Add a comma
hand,
geting
less fit and active Correct your spelling
getting
less
keen to do different Correct word choice
and less
kind
of things that they Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
tend
to do when they Wrong verb form
tended
where
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were
yonger
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younger
having
a child at Change preposition
as having
such
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be Correct your spelling
may
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overwhelming
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emotionally
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with the responsibility that comes with , in instance some medicals Correct your spelling
mentally
articals
has said that mothers who Correct your spelling
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have
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give birth in old ages are more exposed to depression comparing to others.
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parent
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an unhelthy
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unhealthy
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential components of a well-structured essay. Make sure to start with a strong introduction stating the topic and end with a clear conclusion summarizing your main points.
Coherence & Cohesion
There is an evident lack of logical flow in your essay. Use clear paragraphing with topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument. Employ cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and transition words, to improve the connection between ideas.
Task Achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task, but the ideas are not fully developed or explained. Aim to respond completely to the task with clear and comprehensive ideas supported by relevant examples or evidence.
Task Achievement
Ensure your examples are specific and directly relevant to the argument you are making. General or vague examples do not adequately support your points and may not convince the reader of your argument's validity.
General Advice
The writing contains multiple grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors that often impede communication. To achieve a higher band score, significantly improve the accuracy of your English by proofreading and revising your work.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.