The average age for individuals to give birth is increasing. Some people think that it will have negative impact on family and country. What is your opinion about this?

this
essay strongly agree that
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experiencing
experinceing
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experiencing
a
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apply
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pearanthood
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parenthood
in
lateages
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late ages
lineages
has
a
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apply
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some negative
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aspects
aspeacts
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effects
on
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families
familes
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families
and
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country
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the contry
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contry
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country
is in some cases
its
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it's
it is
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linked to
higher
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a higher
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number
on
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of
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children born with health condition among old age mothers
also
been physically fit to provide the
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necessary
nasassary
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necessary
care for them Days after days big numbers of
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young
yong
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young
cuples
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couples
at the
bagining
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beginning
of
there
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their
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life may agree to delay having a child in order to secure a better employee state or for other personal
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reasons
resonase
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reasons
anyhow,by the time they start
this
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journey
journy
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journey
some ladies may
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experience
experince
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experience
a ruff
pragnancy
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pregnancy
period or
seruios
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serious
health issues that
cold
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could
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have passed to her unborn baby which in some time ended up
cosing
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costing
them to have a lifetime health condition or some kind of disability that could have been
avoidid
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avoided
in most cases if the
the
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apply
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parents
has
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have
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decided to have some
helth
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health
check up
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check-up
show examples
erliar
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earlier
,
for
example
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example,
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some studies
has
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have
show examples
shown that the older the mother the higher the
helth
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health
risks for her child
on the other
hand
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hand,
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ageing is a part of life that no one can`t stop people start
geting
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getting
less fit and active
less
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and less
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keen to do different
kind
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kinds
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of things that they
tend
Wrong verb form
tended
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to do when they
where
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were
show examples
yonger
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younger
, as well
having
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as having
show examples
a child at
such
an old age which
mait
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may
be
overwellming
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overwhelming
emothinaly
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emotionally
emotional
and
mentaly
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mentally
with the responsibility that comes with , in instance some medicals
articals
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articles
article
has said that mothers who
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have
show examples
has
Add the particle
has to
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give birth in old ages are more exposed to depression comparing to others.
been
Wrong verb form
Being
show examples
a
pearant
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parent
at late age for
newborn
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a newborn
show examples
baby negatively impact his /her family as it
increase
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increases
show examples
the chance of having
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an unhelthy
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unhelthy
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unhealthy
healthy
baby
also
been much stress physically and
mentaly
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mentally
for the family as
whole
Correct article usage
a whole
show examples
.
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential components of a well-structured essay. Make sure to start with a strong introduction stating the topic and end with a clear conclusion summarizing your main points.
Coherence & Cohesion
There is an evident lack of logical flow in your essay. Use clear paragraphing with topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument. Employ cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and transition words, to improve the connection between ideas.
Task Achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task, but the ideas are not fully developed or explained. Aim to respond completely to the task with clear and comprehensive ideas supported by relevant examples or evidence.
Task Achievement
Ensure your examples are specific and directly relevant to the argument you are making. General or vague examples do not adequately support your points and may not convince the reader of your argument's validity.
General Advice
The writing contains multiple grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors that often impede communication. To achieve a higher band score, significantly improve the accuracy of your English by proofreading and revising your work.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average age
  • give birth
  • increasing
  • negative impact
  • advantages
  • challenges
  • effects
  • family
  • country
  • older parents
  • financial stability
  • maturity
  • life experience
  • health risks
  • parenting skills
  • intergenerational relationships
  • future generations
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